


Night After Night

by MoreBlues



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Internal Conflict, Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Killing, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan (Walking Dead) is an automatic warning, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), POV Female Character, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Reader-Insert, Religion, Religious Conflict, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smoking, Swearing, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12833622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoreBlues/pseuds/MoreBlues
Summary: New to the group you find yourself able to witness Negan's demise, except he drags you down with him... literally.You rose to your side quickly to asses the situation, the pain in your leg suddenly letting itself be known. You hover your hand shakily over the bloody ripped jeans that's surrounded your wound. Hissing at the pain and brows furrowed to see that your injury has been dressed. It was only then that you realised you weren’t where you expected to be. Not at the bottom of a cliff and washed away to some shore. But in an office building. And at quite a high level at that, you could see the skylines, all the buildings that went on for miles. There's no fucking way you got here by yourself you thought.“Well good morning sleeping beauty,”With the sarcastic emphasis on the good morning, you instantly knew who that voice belonged to before your eyes flickered over to him. You see the back of him, his broad shoulders filling out his leather jacket as he empty’s a rucksack of tinned food you can only guess he went out and scavenged today. How? How was he still alive? And how were you unlucky enough to find yourself with him.





	1. Or.. well, shit.. Beans?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first work I'm posting here. Ive written stuff before for Supernatural (http://whentheleveebreaksimagines.tumblr.com) but took a hugggeeee break.
> 
> This is the first thing I've written in like over a year and for a different fandom.  
> Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan is my life rn. That man is something else.  
> Anyways, don't really know where I'm going with this yet but I hope at least one person enjoys this ha! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

It had been a long fight, a war. So many people lost on both sides. So much bloodshed. But that all ends tonight. With the last of the saviours killed, saved or taken as prisoners with the hope of rehabilitation. It was only Negan left fighting his fight. Cornered by members of Alexandria, Hilltop and the Kingdom. Negan had no options left now. If he moved forward, he’d run right into the people that hated him, here for the kill. If he stepped back, he’d topple off the cliff side, and god knows what fate lies for someone down there.

Negan took a step back before realising his foot was edging too close to the cliff side. His eyes darted down to the waves viscously crashing against the rocks before bringing them back to meet Ricks somewhat pleased eyes. Negans eyes move from left to right scanning every face that lay before him with a wide grin forming on his face as he let out a low laugh. One you can only assume was to come off as still confident, like he had options. But he didn’t, and it didn’t go unnoticed to you when he gripped the handle of Lucille a little tighter.

His eyes connected with yours for a moment and you have to admit you felt out of place.  
It was just by fair luck that you were here able to witness Negan's demise. He’d done nothing to you personally. You hadn’t known the group for long. Meeting Daryl in the middle of it, by chance being in the right place at the right time and saving Daryl's ass from some saviours. He didn’t talk to you much at first, Daryl. He avoided eye contact like you were the plague but reluctantly let you patch up his arm.

 _After tying the last knot of the bandage, you look up to try and find his drifting eyes again. Before your mind knew what you were doing your hands had found themselves moving closer to his face. Your fingers outstretched to touch his skin when he suddenly grabs your hands bringing them to a halt. Barely inches from his face, it takes a moment, but he finally releases your hands. You remember thinking how Daryl reminded you of a wild animal, move too quickly, and you’d scare him off._ You push his long hair from his face.  
_Placing both thumbs over his temples, you push gently down. Just enough to make him frown. You pull your hands away now, holding one hand out in an L shape and squinting slightly, you nod to yourself, admiring your work. His brows are still in place, frowning. The confused look on his face makes you laugh._

_“Now you’re mysterious.” You say, smiling._

_“How many walkers have you killed?” He asks,_

Rick stepped forward, gun in hand and raised. His motions snapped you out of thought as you followed his movements with your eyes.

“I told you,” Rick said, plain and simple before pressing down on the trigger. It was sooner than you thought, the noise of the bullet taking you by surprise. You thought Rick and the rest of the group would of at least wanted to get some heated words in before finishing this. The bullet flies through the air, piercing Negan’s chest. Negan wobbles, his body moving backwards. His hand not holding Lucille grabs his chest, blood seeping through his fingers. He takes a wobbly step back. One more step you think, eyeing the edge of the cliff.

“Fuck you,” Negan muttered out with a smile,  
Rick shoots another bullet, hitting Negan centimetres beside the original shot. Negan takes another step back to stable himself. You eye his foot that's placed itself halfway over the edge. Mouthing the words ‘oh shit’ to yourself as you watch this man fall out of view.

Nobody moved. Nobody said anything. They just looked at the place where Negan once stood grinning. And you half smiled knowing the weight that was lifting off your new friend's shoulders. But. You had to be the first to move, the first to break the silence. You squeezed past the people, pacing quickly to the edge. Pausing, you slowly peeked your head over the edge.

“Y/N,” Daryl says, his tone is calling, asking you to back away from the edge.

You didn’t answer, your eyes widening when you saw him, Negan. His face was that of struggle, trying desperately to hang on to the edge but his hands were slipping. His eyes pinged to connect with yours as he lost grip and let go with one hand. You barely had time to gasp as you felt his last ounce of power being used to wrap his hand tightly around your ankle as his other hand let go. Your feet are pulled beneath you, and you were now on your back. You quickly rolled onto your front, trying desperately to grab onto anything around you but only being able to catch dirt as you feel your body being dragged over the edge.

“Y/N?!!!” You hear Daryl yell now.

It was too fast; you didn’t even see him running towards you, arms outstretched. Hands ready for you to grab.

 

Your eyes flick open in panic, not even realising you’d been asleep. Asleep? Had you been sleeping? No unconscious. You remembered.

You rose to your side quickly to asses the situation, the pain in your leg suddenly letting itself be known. You hover your hand shakily over the bloody ripped jeans that's surrounded your wound. Hissing at the pain and brows furrowed to see that your injury has been dressed. It was only then that you realised you weren’t where you expected to be. Not at the bottom of a cliff and washed away to some shore. But in an office building. And at quite a high level at that, you could see the skylines, all the buildings that went on for miles. There's no fucking way you got here by yourself you thought.

“Well good morning sleeping beauty,”

With the sarcastic emphasis on the good morning, you instantly knew who that voice belonged to before your eyes flickered over to him. You see the back of him, his broad shoulders filling out his leather jacket as he empty’s a rucksack of tinned food you can only guess he went out and scavenged today. How? How was he still alive? And how were you unlucky enough to find yourself with him.

You rolled your eyes, “You have got to be kidding me,” You say before bringing your head to your hands, rubbing your temples a little as if to erase this ‘hallucination’. Running your hands through your hair, you look back up at him with tired eyes.

He’s turned to look at you, a smug, big toothy grin on his face. From what his big salt and pepper beard doesn’t cover its a face that's home to cuts and bruises that he didn’t have before. From the fall, which makes you think about what you could look like right now.

“I am sure as shit not kidding you, doll,” He laughs, “Its Y/N right?” He looks at you for confirmation of something he already knew. You look at him in disbelief. Is he really trying to chit chat right now? “So what’ll it be, doll, beans?” He holds up one tin, and then another in his other hand, “or.. well, shit... Beans?” His grins back and bigger than ever.

“You selfish prick.” You say through gritted teeth, not even realising your jaw had tightened in anger that much.

His demeanour changes as he stands, an intimidation tactic. He was taller than you anyway, but your ass was on the floor which made him look so much more significantly big. He bangs the tinned food back onto the counter in anger.  
“Selfish prick!? I saved your sweet little ass-“ He starts pointing at you with his gloved hand before you cut him off.

“Saved me!?” You yelled, “After you dragged me off a fucking cliff!?” Fuck this, you thought. Take him out, get back to your group.  
You go to grab your knife which you quickly realise isn’t there, you let out a growl. Determined, you push yourself with your hands. Dragging yourself weakly up to try and stand so you can get to him. Taking a few hobbled steps towards him, but pain shoots through your body making you cry out a little bit. Your leg gives out, and you try to get to the wall to steady yourself, but there's already an arm wrapped around your waist keeping you from falling.

You squirm in the arms of the man who was way too close for comfort right now. He readjusts and tightens his grip to keep you from slipping. His face no longer angry at your outburst, but back to an amused grin. You crane your neck out to keep as much distance as possible, but his face is so close you can feel his breath on your skin.

He raises an eyebrow, “Are we done doll or do you wanna ruin the bandages I put around your fucked up leg?”  
You don’t respond.  
Did he patch you up? Why the fuck would he do that?  
You can’t kill him; he has your weapons.  
This is your situation now; you’re with Negan. But you can’t stand let alone defend yourself. He did this to you, but right now you need him, and he hasn’t killed you which means he needs you also. But what for?  
You finally let him help you fully, gripping back onto his leather. He readjusts, and you find yourself stood straight now but still close to him. You rest your head on his chest, a move to let him know you weren’t fighting anymore. Too exhausted to care.

“You lost, Negan,” You start, calmly this time, speaking into his chest. “You couldn’t just die could you?” Your voice trails off quietly as you both fall into silence. A few moments go by before Negan finally makes the first move, hoisting you back to your original position on the floor. You had to give it to him; he didn’t let you fall back down. He took all your weight until you were in a comfortable sitting position.

“I’m fucking, Negan,” He says proudly, standing straight again, “I choose when and where I die,” He continues. You watch as he moves back over to the counter, grabbing two cans of beans. He throws one for you and you catch it one-handed. “And I sure as shit was not being taken down by Rick the asshole prick.”

“You’re an asshole.” You retort, taking your eyes off him to crack open your tin.

“Yes. I. Am.”


	2. You Know Who The Ginger Is?

You woke up, the same as yesterday. Panicked for a moment until your memories flooded your mind. Reminding you that you were safe, well… as safe as being bunkmates with Negan can be. You looked over at him, sound asleep. On his back, using his jacket and scarf to create some cushion for his body and head.  
You can see his once white now blood-soaked shirt clinging to his form. Thinking about how you’d forgotten he’d even been shot, twice. He sure did put on a strong front, but that surely had to hurt.

You hoist yourself up using the wall again, trying to be quiet as not to wake him. The pain is still in your leg but isn’t half as bad as it was yesterday. Limping a few steps towards him, you see your knife tucked into his belt but also his fingertips barely inches away from Lucille. He moves his head slightly, and you freeze, eyes wide.  
Do not wake up, do not wake up!  
Just take your knife and get out of here, quick, simple and quiet.  
Do not fucking wake up!  
You’re next to him now, waiting a moment, taking a deep breath. You reach down slowly. Your fingertips brush the wooden handle of your knife.

“Unless you’re going to unbutton my pants and do me a solid, I suggest you back the fuck up doll.”

Fuck

You look at his face looking back up at yours, a smile forming on his features, he darts his tongue out for a second before propping himself up on his elbows. His hair is disheveled; a few pieces fall in front of his face which you kind of think is slightly attractive. In fact, Negan as a whole was ‘hot’ to you. I mean of course he was.. he was trouble, a bad guy, sarcastic, an asshole, a psychopath. Whatever people wanted to call him, that was your type. The kind of guy you look at and think shit, you are going to ruin my life.  
And you let them.

You smile back, sarcastically. “As much as I have loved your company, Negan,” you emphasise the word loved, “I sadly, must go.” You fake being sad, pulling the corners of your mouth down and a hand to your heart “I know, I know, you’re going to miss me but-“ You make a quick dash for the knife. Your hand grabs the handle, but his grabs your wrist, sharply. Your eyes flick from the blade to his eyes.  
A standoff of sorts.

“Let. go.” You say.

“You first.” He replies, playfully.

You grit your teeth, knowing you aren’t going to win. You release the knife, and Negan releases you. You throw your hands in the air, palms out, in surrender.

“I'm serious, Negan, give me my shit and let me leave. I need to get back.” You say, a little worried about your group. Things happen so quickly in this new world. You have to get back to help keep them safe.

“Get back to what? The group of dicks that barely know you. Probably ain’t even looking for you.” He teased, probably wanting a reaction from you. A corner of his mouth still pulled up into a smirk as he hoisted himself up to stand.

Your brows furrow, taken aback by his comment, “You don’t know that”

“No? Cause I don’t remember your face when I had Ricks band of merry fuckers on their knees, I don’t remember your face from Hilltop, Alexandria or The Kingdom. Jesus the Kingdom is such a stupid fucking name,” he mumbles that last bit to himself. Pulling at his top to look at the blood before deciding to take his shirt off entirely. He moves to a bag on the counter with supplies he’d collected the day before, pulling out another generic white top.

“And the sanctuary isn’t?” You say distracted, your eyes drifting over his shirtless form while his back is turned to you. Taking in his toned features as well as the two exit wounds which had been tended to. He spins quickly, making your eyes ping back to meet his. Hoping he hadn’t noticed that, but you’re pretty sure he did because he’s smiling with that fucking smile.

“And I sure as shit don’t remember your face when those bastards decided to group together and throw a tantrum. And doll, I’m not being funny, but I think id remember a face like that.” He pulls his shirt over his head, and you’re internally disappointed. “So that means you turned up at some point after that. So how long have you known them, a few weeks? A few days? Why the fuck do you give a shit, cause I’m willing to bet they don’t give a shit about you.”

He finishes his speech, and you’re left for wonder. You are close to Daryl for sure, but the others not so much. There hadn’t been enough time for you to get to know everyone with everything that was going on. Hell after Rick found out the answers to the three initiation questions he didn’t even want you in the group.

_“She’s dangerous, Daryl, I know it. This isn’t a good idea.” Rick says, bluntly.  
Your back is pressed up against the wall, hidden, listening to the voices coming through the open door next to you._

_“She ain’t like that,” you hear Daryl respond harshly. You smile to yourself; it was nice to be defended like this. “If it weren’t for her-“_

_“Yeah, I know the story.” Rick cuts him off._

_“Ain’t no story,” Daryl starts, you can hear the men pacing around in the room. “We need her.” There was a moment of silence. Of deliberation._

_“Keep an eye on her,” Rick commanded, and you can only imagine Daryl nodded in agreement to the terms. You hear footsteps coming to the door snapping you out of eavesdropping. You quickly move from the wall, panicked and then tried to look nonchalant. Choosing a painting as your focus, you fiddled with the frame intently as Rick left the room and passed by you, giving you a small smile and nod as he did.  
You watch as Rick moves out of view before returning your gaze to the room which Daryl has emerged from._

_He leans against the doorway, putting a cigarette in his teeth._   
_“He’ll come ‘round.”_

The memory brings a smile to your face, “You don’t know shit.” You say. Knowing that if he thought there was any chance you’d survived the fall, Daryl would be looking for you.

“Really? Let me ask you somethin’; you know who the ginger is? And The widow's husband?” Negan questions, raising his eyebrows. Pretty determined to push this thought of hope out of your head.

Your face goes from smiling to confused in seconds, “Abraham and Glenn?” You’d heard the story, although you wished you hadn’t.

“Yeah, those ass fucks.”

“Careful.” You warned him. Dead or not, they were apart of your group, and you were fiercely loyal.

Negan only grins at your threat, “But do you know who Denise is?” He asks, grin still there. He watches you search your memories of the name. Denise, Denise, Denise… nothing. You shake your head lightly.  
“She lived at Alexandra,” He said matter of factly. “Dwighty boy shot her in the eye with an arrow, bet no one mentioned that. Mentioned her.” You didn’t know what to say. You search for words, for a comeback but there was nothing. What if they forget about you? What if they don’t at least try to look for you? You brush a hand through your hair, and he smiles knowing he’s won. Backing up a few paces you turn to leave the conversation, limping back towards your corner where your jacket and boots are.  
“Shit he wasn’t even aiming for her, such a shame.” He tries to reel you back in, successfully.

“Who was he aiming for?” You say casually. Not interested in this conversation anymore, you bend down to grab your boots.

“Daryl.”  
You immediately freeze at the name. The vivid thought of Daryl with an arrow through his eye appearing in your head.  
“What was that?” He asks immediately.

“What was what?” You try to pass it off as nothing, shaking out the thought you put your feet in your boots, wincing a little in pain as you bend to tie the laces.

“Shit. That's it.” He laughs. You ignore him and finish with your laces. “That's why! You two are fucking!?”

You freeze again. Your head snaps up, and you point at him. Rising from your kneeled position, “No!... No! Don’t be- just shut the fuck up.” You fumble over your words, internally swearing at yourself to get it together.

“You are!” His grin is so wide now; you can see all his pearly whites. “Shit doll, I'm jealous!” He brings a hand to his heart making you roll your eyes. “No seriously I am, he gets to tap that fucking ass. Damn.” He looks over your body, his tongue tracing his bottom lip for a second. His gaze is travelling down your body. You click your fingers to regain his attention to your face.

“No ones tapping anything, Negan, stop.” You say, having had quite enough. You quickly grab your jacket and wrap it around your waist, tying it into a knot. Actively trying to avoid eye contact while you’re at it.

“You love him?” He asks, serious now. Like there might actually be a part of him that gives a shit in there.  
Your eyes never meet his.

“Love is for children.” You say quickly. You head towards the door, taking the crowbar out of the handles that keeps it locked and swing open the door. The hallways empty with a few dead walkers laying on the ground you can only assume Negan killed on his way up here. You start to walk towards the next door that leads to the stairs.

“Where are you going?” He asks like he doesn’t already know the answer. You continue to walk, not turning around to give him a second glance.

“Out.”

“Out?” He repeats your words, “I'm sorry, doll, are you going round to fuck the neighbour!?” His voice is raising now, the further you get away from him. “This ain’t the kind of place you just go ‘out’ in!”

“Back, I’m going back.” You shout over your shoulder, turning the corner.

“You ain’t gonna make it!” You hear in the distance making you frown. Hell to him! You are going to make it; you’re stronger than people think. You made it years on your own before. It can’t be that far away, right? You just need to figure out where exactly you are once you get out of this building. Damn, how many stairs has this place got!?

You try to pick up the pace as much as you can with your leg situation.

Dead walker… dead walker… dead walker, you pass the bodies limp on the floor as you finally make it to the main doors to the outside world. Swiping a pair of scissors from one of the desks, the best weapon you have right now. You unwrap the chains around the handles, being quite impressed that Negan had managed to make the place this safe on his own. Taking a step outside and immediately plunging your scissors into the head of a nearby walker, better safe than sorry.

Blocking out the sun with one hand you try to get your bearings, looking around trying to see if there is anything you recognised. You weren’t initially from Virginia, so you don’t really know the place that well. I guess the only thing you can do is walk now, walk and hope you see something you know. Thankfully walkers were few and far between, but you knew you’d needed to get out of the city, head to the woods and make a camp for the night.

The camp you’d set up wasn’t even a camp. It was a circle of string with empty cans tied around you in hopes of alerting you to walkers. There was no fire; you were too damn hot in this weather for that. Plus there was no food to cook on it anyhow.

It was only when you lay you’re head down on the ground and finally take in the silence that you were reminded of how lonely this was, to have no one again. After years of being on your own, you had finally found people. You were getting used to the sounds of other peoples voices again, their faces, their smiles. How were you alone again?  
And just when the silence was becoming deafening, you hear the clang of metal tins banging together.  
You sigh, picking yourself up off the ground, grabbing your scissors. Its dark now but you can make out the silhouette enough to aim for the head. Bringing your scissors up in the air you aim hard for the skull.  
But when a hand catches your arm mid-swing you panic.  
Walkers defiantly do not do that.  
In an instant reaction, you swiftly connect your forehead to the bridge of his nose.

"Y/N!” He yells, stumbling back and releasing your arm.

“Negan?!” You let your eyes adjust to see him better. His face is scrunched up, holding a hand to his nose to see if there is any blood. “What the- What are you doing?!”

“Regretting my decision apparently,” He says, giving his nose a wiggle to make sure it isn’t broken. “Shit you have a hard forehead” You bite your lip to try to stop from laughing, but you can’t help it escape your mouth. Your laughter softens his expression as he watches you head tilted and slightly bewildered.

You take a breath to calm your laughter, “No seriously, Negan, what are you doing?” You ask, watching as he takes a seat in your circle and starts to get comfy.

“Following you, obviously.” He says casually, taking his jacket off and putting it under his head as he lays down. Placing Lucille next to him as he puts both hands under his head and closes his eyes.

“Why?” You question again.

He only opens one eye to look up at you. “I have food, and you don’t. I have weapons, and you don’t. You really wanna be questioning me right now doll?” He has a fair point.

“I really wish you wouldn't call me that.” You frowned, accepting his company you copy his actions unwrapping your jacket and laying it down on the ground.

“You love it.”

“Really don’t.”

“Sure, doll.”


	3. Well shit, what do we have here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post, was going back and forth for a while on this chapter. Not 100% happy with it but if I keep going like this it'll never get posted aha!

“Y/N!” You hear Negan’s voice; a whispered shout. “Y/N!” He shakes your shoulders, and your eyes snap open. He’s leaning right over you, his face incredibly close to yours. But he’s not smiling, why is he not smiling? He’s always smiling. You go to speak, but he quickly places his hand over your mouth and shushes you. His eyes dart to a direction into the woods before he drags you up into a standing position and yanks you behind a tree. Your back thumps against the bark as he pushes you a little too hard, he earns a daggered look for that.

“I will knock you out, Negan, I swear to-“ is all you get out before his hand is over your mouth again, so all he can hear is your muffled threat. His light brown eyes are boring into yours to shut the fuck up. You put a hand on his leather jacket and tug a little to tell him you weren’t going to speak. He slowly releases his hand from your face. Holding his flat palm in the air for you not to move and wait for instructions. He takes his eyes off you directing his attention elsewhere. While you search his face for answers, you can’t help but take a moment to see the details of his face. The stray hairs, the white in his heavy stubble, the dimples still apparent that looked so delicious when he smiled. You had to fight the urge not to cup his face in your hands. Why were you always attracted to the damaged ones?

Negan watches intently not making a sound, eyes focused. His whole body is alert, his hand around Lucille getting tighter.  
You hear footsteps and clanging of the tins.  
People are rummaging through your camp.

“There were people here I’m tellin ya!” You hear a voice say, “I saw em!”

“You’re full of shit, Tony!”

“How long are we gonna have to keep doing this?”

“We’re surviving.”

“People taste like shit.”

“That's cause they are shit.”

You roll your eyes as Negan’s gaze returns to you. “Cannibals?! seriously!?” You mouth the words to him,  
“How many?” You silently ask. Negan holds up five fingers.  
“Guns?”  
Negan shakes his head lightly.  
Looking down you notice your knife is still in Negan’s belt and that you had nothing to defend yourself with, your scissors laying on the ground next to where you’d been sleeping. You reach down to grab it, but Negan grabs your wrist sharply to stop you.  
He gives you a warning look, one that said ‘If you even dare turn on me…’ before letting go.  
You pull the knife from his belt and grip it comfortably in your hand.  
You wait for his signal.

His devilish smile returns to his face, but you can’t help but look confused. You know an idea has just popped into that head of his, but you didn’t know what he was thinking. You always know what people are thinking, it's a gift to identify the intentions of every person who enters your life. But not him, not Negan.  
That scared you.  
You hadn’t even realised he’d gotten so close till you felt his stubble brush the side of your cheek. Your heart picks up a beat when you feel his hot breath on your skin.  
“Play along,” He whispers so unnecessarily close to your ear.  
Negan lets out a whistle, one you knew all too well. The noise echoes through the trees, alerting the men immediately to our position as he steps from behind the tree and into view of the men.  
Men? Do we class them as men if they eat other people?  
Negan swings Lucille over his shoulder and smiles. His demeanour is so confident considering we were outnumbered.

“Well shit, what do we have here?” He laughs viscously. His eyes dart to you realising you hadn’t followed him out.  
He was alone.  
You stood there with your arms folded into each other and a smug ass smile on your face. You wanted to be the big man with the big plan now you can. You thought, waving your hand out, gesturing for him to continue.

“Get on your knees, NOW!” One of the men shouts bringing Negan’s attention back to the real problem. All five cannibals carry their knives in front of them ready to attack.

Negan’s eyes land on the man who threatened him, “You hear that doll,” He looks back at you. You fucking asshole, you have to drag me down with everything you do.  
“These people eating pricks want us to get on our knees.” You have no choice but to step from behind the tree and take your place beside him.  
“Now I don’t know about you but I sure as shit am not down for that.” He looks down at you with a big grin, encouraging you to speak next.

“Look you wanna eat people, fine. I don't give a bag of dicks what kinky shit you’re into, just be into it quietly, and away from me.” You state boldly to the men before turning back to Negan.  
“Happy?” You say in a hushed tone, only for Negan to hear.

“Not quite.” Negan replies in the same tone.  
Negan turns quickly, raising Lucille up. Landing a swift barb wired uppercut to the cannibal that had done all the talking.  
You’re eyes widen as Negan grabs the next one who runs towards him and throws him into you. Giving you no choice but to fight.  
Your knife plunges into his head. Your adrenaline spikes. You bring the fight to the three remaining men. You’re so lost in the blood that you hadn’t realised that Negan had left you to it. In fact, it didn’t even occur to you that you’d already killed them all. Your body straddled over a dead man, your knife repeatedly plunging into a corpse.

“Ay, that's enough,” Negan says, tapping your shoulder to stop.  
But all you can see is red.  
“Ay, doll.” Negan tries again, but you don’t stop.  
“I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!” Negan yells, grabbing your shoulder forcefully and spinning you around. Negan snatches your knife from your hands and snaps you back to reality. You have to blink repeatedly to regain your focus. You’re completely silent, in shock, holding your hands out you see the blood dripping from your hands. You didn’t just kill the men; you fucking slaughtered them. You could barely look at the mess you’d made, but Negan didn’t seem to mind.

“Shit doll, that's fucked up.” He laughed. He was patting down the bodies for any supplies he could loot before realising you had yet to respond. He stops what he’s doing and walks back over to you. Seeing you stare into space, he steps into your field of vision, and your eyes snap directly to his.  
“You good?” He asks, bringing one of his hands up he attempts to push your hair out of the way to see the damage to your face. But you bat his hand away aggressively before he has a chance to touch you.

“You care?” You say, venom dripping from your lips.

“Oh,” He laughs over dramatically, dipping his knees and bringing a hand to his chest, “you’re pissed at me again, grrreat!” Negan backs up, rolling his eyes.

“Are you serious, Negan! Yes, I'm pissed at you!” You throw your hands up in the air like that wasn’t obvious. “Yes, I'm fucking pissed at you! You dragged me off a fucking cliff-“

“You’re still mad at me for that?!” He interrupts you, “Shit! I said I was sorry!”

“No, you didn’t.” You say, merely shaking your head. Silence washes over the two of you as you wait for Negan to apologise, but he doesn’t.  
“So are you gonna apologise?” You raise an eyebrow, eagerly waiting.

He clicks his tongue, and scrunches his face, “You know doll, I'm no good with that shit.”

“Oh fuck you, Negan.” You say coldly. You take a few steps back, starting to turn when you realise you have more to say. More you want to get off your chest. More you want to ask.  
“Why the fuck are you here Negan? Huh?!” You turn back to him, taking bold steps towards him but he doesn’t move. He stands in place. Confident as always. So you stride right up to him stopping only inches away from his body.

You look him straight in the eyes.  
“Why did you save me after nearly killing me?! Why did you carry my unconscious body to safety?! Why did you bandage me up?! Why did you follow me?! Why THE FUCK are you still here?!”

Negan’s eyes narrow as he inches closer, expecting you to take a step back but he only makes the gap tighter.  
He didn’t shout but he was stern, and I think somehow that was worse.  
“The same fucking reason you let me stay! So don’t act like I'm some fucking hindrance to you. You need my sweet ass as much as I need yours darling and that's just a fucking fact. So you need to get the fuck over it so we can kiss, makeup and get the fuck out of here.”

Check and mate.

And as if on queue it begins to rain. Slowly for a second and then it pours down so fast your clothes become drenched within seconds. You can see the blood already starting to wash off your hands.  
“Oh my god, RAIN!” You hold your palms in the air as a smile comes over your face as if you’ve never seen it before. “Tell me you have soap in that bag?!” You raise your voice to be heard over the cloudburst.

Negan dashes back to his bag, “Sure as shit do, here!” He grabs a bottle of shower gel, dumping a big blob into his hand before throwing the bottle for you to catch.

“YES!” You are so excited to get some of this grime off you. Even if it was with rainwater, it was still better than nothing. You’ve never taken your shirt off so fast, already beginning to lather up your arms when you notice eyes on you.  
“Ay! Don’t look!” You catch Negan staring, not that he cared if he got caught.

“Aw, cmon doll. You can’t look like that and expect me not to look.” He laughs as he returns to washing his hair, turning slightly from you. At least he’s man enough to respect your wishes. You turn too, to give him the same respect.

“So whats the plan?” You shout over your shoulder.

“Passed a store on the way here, didn’t get a chance to go in cause I was carrying your ass. We can check there?” He shouts back.

You nod to yourself, “Sounds good to me.”

 

And just like that, it was as if your argument never happened.

Maybe this is a fucked up relationship.

Maybe he cared, maybe he didn’t.

Maybe you need him right now.

Maybe he needs you.

Maybe.


	4. What will our names be?

“So…” you start, grabbing Negan’s attention. Negan looks up from the ground to see the sun hitting your skin so nicely, the morning rays bouncing off your eyes. You’d finally pulled your hair from your face feeling a little fresher after your rain shower last night. A small smile on your lips but you don’t know why.  
Negan strolled beside you down the railway. Your arms outstretched, trying to keep balance as you step carefully along the metal beams trains once used to go down. You wondered if Negan thought you childish for playing this game. But Negan loved games right, at least that's the way he’d always come off to you. Maybe not these types of games. A more vindictive strategy to beat his competitor games but still he was always playing.

“Two truths and a lie.” You say taking your eyes off the path in front of you to try to look at his reaction. Your distraction makes your feet wobble, but Negan grabs your arm to keep you steady although he doesn’t give you a response and his face isn’t giving anything away.  
“Negan?” You say capture his attention again, noticing that maybe he was lost in his own thoughts.

“What?” He replies aimlessly.

You wonder if you should ask whats on his mind but you know he’d never tell you, so you continue with your idea.  
“I think we should play two truths and a lie. It’s a game where each person offers up three facts about themselves, two of which are the truth and one which is-“

“A lie?” He finishes your sentence with a smirk.

“Right. And then the other person has to guess which is which.” You finish. This sounded a lot more fun inside your head. You’ve started this now, no backing down. Negan doesn’t seem all that interested in your game, but he will be.  
“Unless you’re scared you’ll lose…” You sing melodically, teasing his competitive side. When his eyes ping to yours and narrow slightly, you know you’ve hooked him.

“I’ll start. First, I’m ambidextrous.” You say looking to Negan who only nods to himself, “Second, I have travelled the world.” You say waving your hands in the air and moving your fingers like this was some magical thing.

“Speaking of the world I have made a decision.” You jump off the metal beams and land in front of Negan bringing him to a halt. “When the living take back over and-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there, doll,” He puts both his hands on your shoulders and looks you straight in the eyes, “That shit ain’t ever going to happen!” He speaks to you like a child, maybe he does think you childish. He pushes past you and continues walking, leaving you still and frowning.  
“So erase that fucking thought from your head!” He shouts over his shoulder with a laugh.

You make a quick sprint to catch up with him, placing yourself in front of him. You plant your feet hard on the ground bringing him to a stop again. Negan sighs, but has to smile at your persistence.  
“Hey! I'm feeling super optimistic today… So could you just? Okay?” You raise your eyebrows which only makes him grin, but you take this as your go ahead. You start to walk backwards, still facing Negan. He matches your speed watching your face with an amused look as you continue your thought.  
“Okay so,” you continue, “I am moving to Morocco for one year,” you raise your index finger in the air to emphasise your statement. It was a statement at first until the question popped into your head and fell out of your mouth faster than you could catch it.  
“Do you wanna come?”

“I’ll come anywhere you want me to, doll” Negan responds so fast, it takes you a second to realise that there was a dirty joke it that.

“Jesus, Negan!” You almost yell, slapping the back of your hand on his chest. He only laughs at your delayed reaction until the cracking of branches catches both of your attention, and a walker slowly stumbles out of the trees. “I got it!” You say, dashing over to the rotting corpse making its way towards you. A quick blow to the head with your scissors drops the walker to the ground and only then do you realise Negan has your knife again. How does he keep ending up having that? But you push the thought out, you don’t want to argue today, so you make your way back to him. Weaving in front of the tall man you return to your last position.

“Whats your third thing?” Negan asks.

“My third thing?” You question his question.

“Two truths and a lie. You say three things-“ He reminds you.

“Right! I’m a disappointment to my parents.” You say quickly with a laugh. That last one kinda slipped out. The only thing that came to your mind and you needed another truth. Plus you had a real knack for turning painful things in your life into a joke.

“Shit, doll” Negan’s face is surprised, a little taken back from that outburst of a statement. “Didn’t know we were getting real here.” He laughs the seriousness off as per usual, which you appreciate.

You shrug your shoulders as a response.  
“So, which is the lie?” You change the subject back to the game.

“Ambidextrous.” He says without missing a beat.  
Your brows immediately frown, he’s was right of course. I mean would you expect anything else but winning from Negan. “I’m right, right?” Negan says with a smug smile.

“Okaaaay,” You draw out the word sarcastically, shrugging off his smugness and turning the tables, “your turn, Negan.”

“First fact. Right…” He looks up to think. Before his eyes find yours again as he decides on his fact “I used to be a used car salesman before this shit storm.” He waves his hand around, gesturing to his surroundings.  
You look over Negan trying to picture him selling used cars, what that would look like, what he would say, what he would wear. Do you think he’s always had that leather jacket? Do you think he could have sold you a car? Of course, he could have. Negan only needs to smile that big toothy grin, and you’d have been putty in his hands.

“My name is not actually Negan.” He continues.  
Your brows furrow, if his name isn’t Negan what the hell is it?  
Andrew? No. Steven? No. Josh? No. Nothing else suited him but Negan. Negan was a power name. One you’d never even heard before meeting him.

“And shit… I am sorry about ya know…” He drags out his last sentence, running a hand over his stubble. Obviously feeling very awkward, making a laugh instantly fall from your mouth.

“No, I don’t.” You say.  
Of course, you do.  
Your eyes are wide, doe-eyed. With a clearly fake dumb look on your face like you have no idea what he’s talking about.  
Negan struggles to find the words, he is terrible at apologies, but you’re a patient woman. You tilt your head up proudly, waiting for the rest of it.

“I'm sorry for dragging you off that fucking cliff okay?” He speaks so fast you almost miss it.

“Holy shit!” You start mockingly clapping your hands, “Next thing you know we’ll be holding hands and singing kumbaya.” You laugh, making a quick move to try and grab his hand in yours. His fast reactions bat your hand away making you laugh harder.

“Don't push your luck, Y/N,” Negan warns. His eyes narrow, probably wishing he’d never even tried. But his face as quickly as it turned to anger fell back into a smile as he playfully shakes his head at you.

“Okay, okay.” You have to bring yourself out of the joke and back to the game at hand. “Anyway, I think I have your number.”  
Negan only gives you a look. One that says ‘oh really?’. You can’t see through that broad smile of his and whats behind that confident demeanour. But that doesn’t stop you from trying.  
“Well first, thank you for your apology,” You start, holding a hand to your heart. “Much appreciated.”

“How do you know that was the truth?” He raises an eyebrow. His face is solid and not giving anything away. He is really good at doing that.

“Well if it isn’t, then that Is a pretty shitty thing to do.” You reply. In all seriousness, if he is lying about that then.. then what? What do you do? You really hope he isn’t because that would hurt like a mother.

“I’ve been known to do worse.” He says quietly. More like a grumble. Something under his breath that you weren't supposed to catch.

“That I can believe.” You say with Negan only raising his eyebrows at you as a response. The mood seems to have dulled with that, and you need to bring Negan back up. You’ve only been with him for a few days, but whenever he falls into this kind of silence, it kills you.  
“Okay, so car salesman!” You bring the conversation back to the game. “Of course you used to be a car salesman before this. You convinced a bunch of people to call themselves Negan and fight for you. Selling someone a car they don’t need is not a stretch for you.” You ramble on to yourself.  
“So that just leaves your name.” You realise while you've been rambling you’ve taken your eyes off Negan, so you return them to his face.  
“You’re a proud man Negan.” He smiles widely at this, something he already knew. “I’m calling bullshit on that.”

“Always thought I was a good liar.” He laughs.

“Good thing you’re pretty.” You say, moving behind Negan and unwinding the rucksack from his arms. You take a bottle of water before zipping it back up. Spotting a decent log, you make your way over to take a seat to rest for five minutes. Negan doesn’t sit with you though, he stands over you. Giving you a look, a look that confuses you. A sort of mischievous smile you couldn’t quite work out why.  
You go to take a sip when you spot him staring at you. With the bottle at your lips, you pause your actions to question his look.  
“What?” You ask, before gulping down some water.

“Are you flirting with me?” He questions. He has both hands on his hips and a huge smug smile on his face like he’d just caught onto something. Something you needed to shut down straight away.

“I don’t flirt. I just say what I want.” You state. Just to make thing clear. But Negan only gives you a small noise. ‘Mmhm’ He hums like he doesn’t believe you. You roll your eyes as your reply as he takes a seat next to you and snatches the bottle from your hands. Drinking the remaining and last bit of water before you had the chance.

“Is that how you became such a disappointment to your parents?” He teased, before finishing the water off. Making you wish you’d never let that slip from your mouth.

“My parents were…” You start, taking a breath. “My parents were very prim and proper and old fashioned and don’t slouch dear you’ll get a bad posture and marry up sweetheart before you get too old and don’t let them see you cry darling we have to keep up appearances.” You mock your parent's voices in a much posher, more higher pitch than they ever sounded.  
“My friend at the time convinced me to go to this concert. I had no idea who they were, some rock and roll band,” You laughed for a second at the memory. “But the lead singer, he pulled me onto the stage. And he gave me a coke… with ice. And I never went home.” You smile, bringing yourself out of the daze of thought you hadn’t realised you’d fallen into.

“And your parents didn’t miss there precious little darling?” He asks sarcastically, not knowing. Not knowing how painful that thought was. How quickly your smile faded from your face.

“They didn’t even look for me. God forbid a missing daughter to be the centre of the neighbourhood gossip. No, they told everyone I had moved to Morocco.”  
Negan didn’t say anything, probably didn’t know how to respond to that without turning it into a joke.  
This is hard.  
You don’t want to talk about this anymore.

Change the subject.

“Hey!” You squeak, bringing back your smile. “When we go to Morocco I think we should wear completely different clothes and be completely different people.”

“What will our names be?” Negan goes along with you.

“What do you think of Daryl? Hate and war aside, as a person?” Another thought circling your head which you shouldn’t have let fall from your lips, completely ignoring his question. Nice one.

Negan frowns for a second at the abrupt changes in conversation. “He’s a prick. Never liked the guy,” He says bluntly. The answer you expected. “But. You can tell with some people, whose cut out for this world… He was made for it. Really wish he’d of seen how great he could have been as a saviour. He’s loyal, shit I’ll give him that.” The answer you didn’t.

Why, why, why did you ask a question involving Daryl? Now you’re thinking of him. You try to squeeze the thought from your head.

“Okay, I got it! Your name should be Spencer and mine will be Jane.” You nod to yourself proudly.

“Fucking hell doll, I can’t keep up with you.” Negan lets out a loud laugh.

“Oh, no one can” You respond, pouting your lips and making your voice deep. You keep the joke going until you look past Negan’s head and see the outline of a building in the distance, past the trees. You squint your eyes slightly to get a better view before your eyes go wide with excitement.

“Oh shit. Look!” You point to the building, getting to your feet “Is that it?”

Negan turns to see what you’re looking at, “Yep. That's the one.”  
“Hey! Wait. Y/N! SHIT! WAIT! FUCKING HELL!”

You don’t really know why you didn’t wait for Negan. Maybe it was the thought of supplies In the store or perhaps you just felt like running. But you didn’t stop, even when he called after you. Your feet just kept moving, and the store was getting closer and closer by the second. You called Negan a slowcoach, and he called you a bitch.  
You laughed, but you didn’t stop.  
Until you did.  
Until your feet came to a screeching halt, skidding across the ground.  
Until you felt like all the wind had been knocked out of your lungs, and the terror-filled your veins.  
Until you came face to face with a herd of walkers. The biggest herd you’d ever seen. There grumbles and moans filling the air.

“Shit.”


	5. We're about to get our asses chewed off and you're smiling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long as time it took me to post this, my laptop broke and It took me ages to get it all sorted. Hopefully the updates will come faster now :) Thank you for all your kudos and lovely comments!

"Ah, shit" You breathe with wide eyes. A herd, a herd of a shit ton of walkers who have already noticed you and are currently stumbling there way towards you. 

"Having fun there, doll?" You hear Negans voice over your shoulder. A voice you didn't realise you wanted to hear. Relief washes over your body and a smile forms on your face as you feel the leather of Negans glove wrap around your arm, pulling you into a sprint. 

Negan pulls you into every direction trying to find an escape route. Every building seems to have been boarded up when the outbreak started, and every corner seems to hold more walkers.   
Negans face keeps darting to yours as you run before he finally speaks, "We're about to get our asses chewed off, and you're smiling?"

"What I can't smile?" You tried to defend yourself realising that your happiness of seeing Negan hadn't visibly faded from your face yet.   
"There!" you cut the conversation short as you notice a broken window on one of the buildings. Negan finally releases your arm and drops to one knee. With Lucille resting on his thigh he crosses his hands over each other allowing you to place a foot in his hold. Effortlessly he pushes you up high enough to grab the ledge and pull yourself in through the window.   
You do a quick scan of the room before popping your head back out. Hanging half your body out of the window you reach down to Negan, but your fingertips are barely brushing his. 

"Reach!" you yell, with walkers creeping up quickly you begin to panic. 

"I am bloody reaching!" Negan yells back. Negan runs a hand over his face taking a few paces back, his eyes darting to the oncoming herd and back to you while he thinks. 

Then his eyes connect with yours, and he smiles, and you just know an idea has formed in his head. Negan throws Lucille up to you without warning making you duck, the bat barely missing your head.   
"Hey!" 

"Oh shut up she didn't hit you." He grins, starting to take paces back away from the window as much as he could without backing all the way into the walkers. Negan then runs at full force towards the wall without any warning.   
His foot catches the brick of the building, and he uses this to propel himself up. Your heart feels like it might just jump out of your chest, but your reactions take over. You instantly reach out as far as you can, locking arms with Negan and using all of your strength to keep him off the ground. 

The walkers had finally caught up to us, and Negan is now hovering over imminent death. He looks down to the dead that reaches out to him.   
"Don't you dare fucking let go." He says sternly. 

"Well I wasn't planning to, but now you mention it," You retort, losing your grip for a second and letting Negan's arms slide down an inch. His hold on your arm instantly becomes tighter, and he glares at you with eyes that make's you realise this isn't the time for joking.   
Negan reaches the ledge, letting one hand go from yours using it to help pull himself up. You hadn't realised he'd done this however and continue to pull as hard as your strength will allow you. Negan, as a result, comes flying through the window, pushing into you. You're back slams hard on the floor, and then your head. 

Your eyes immediately close tightly as your hand reaches your temples.  
"Fuck, I think I have a concussion." you mutter. 

"That's fucking karma right there, doll." You hear Negan's voice way too close to you and when you ping open your eyes your sight confirms it. Negan's body is hovering over you. Must have stopped himself from falling all the way onto you. Both arms stretched out beside your head. His big grin only inches away from yours. 

Your heart instantly begins to pick up the pace, especially when his eyes turn dark as they follow a bead of sweat trickling down your neck.   
You try to speak, but your throat has dried up. You try to focus on keeping your hands still because if you move your hands, you don't know what you'll do, or regret, or not.   
One of his hands has vanished from beside you and had found its way to the hem of your tank, his fingertips tracing the fabric. His knuckles brush the skin on your stomach. 

Until all of his motions come to a halt when he jerks back from you, his eyes have snapped down to your stomach.   
"Shit." He says. 

Your eyes quickly follow his to see blood seeping through the bottom of your tank.   
"Shit," you repeat his words. Gently push your hand into his chest, and he lets you by to get off the ground. 

"Ah, shit." you lift your tank to see a decent size cut across your stomach. Looking back to the window you can only have guessed you must have cut yourself open when leaning over the broken glass, pulling up Negan. 

You leave Negan, pacing the store to find things to patch yourself up. Of course, there is no medic kit in sight. So you grab the next best thing. A needle, dental floss and vodka, along with a few other gems like water, toothpaste, soap and hair ties and clean clothes. 

You find a small bathroom in the back, closing the door behind you and placing your items on the edge of the sink. You avoid the mirror as always, not being the best fan of the person looking back.   
First the hair. You take a brush through your locks, create a few braids and pulling the whole thing up into a ponytail. You use the water and soap to clean most of your body, except the wound. You'll get to that later.   
God knows that is going to sting like a bitch.  
A quick brush of the teeth and a change of jeans makes you feel like a new person. 

You tie your tank into a knot above your stomach, exposing the wound. There's so much blood you don't know the extent of the cut, but a poke to the side of it sure hurts like hell.   
You pop off the lid of the bottle, the scent of alcohol hits your nose.   
You let a few drops hit the open cut and as you expected it hurts like hell.   
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You quickly bring the bottle to your lips and take a few swigs in the hope of dulling the pain. 

"Jesus, let me." 

You spin around seeing Negan in the door frame. _How long had he been there?_

"I got it." You say, taking another swig of the drink. Hoping he'd back off and leave you to it but he doesn't. Instead, he reaches out for the bottle making you snatch it away quickly.   
"I said, I got it." 

"I fucking heard you the first time, doll." He retorts, still holding out his palm. Your eyes flick down to his hand and back to his face a few times before you finally give in with a sigh. Handing the bottle over to a smug Negan.  
"Wasn't that hard was it?"

"Shut up."   
You lean back on the sink giving Negan access to your stomach. Negan wastes no time, not giving any warning before splashing the vodka to your skin.   
"Jesus!" you grit your teeth, your hand without thinking grabs his arm and squeezes as the sting slithers through your body. 

Negan quickly blots the blood away with paper towels, his eyes looking back up at you for your reaction. Your eyes had become distracted by the mirror that stood in the corner of the room, showing both of your reflections, your bruised and broken bodies. It was a wonder that either of you had even survived.   
Your brows scrunch together at the person staring back at you, and you remembered why you hate mirrors. 

"You good?" He asks, and you give back a melodic mmhmm with a nod of your head. Not sure if he was asking about the pain or your reaction to your own face. 

"How bad is it?" You ask. Your eyes fixed on his straight face, in fear that if you see the needle piercing through your skin, it will make the pain worse. 

"Terrible, I think you need to take your entire shirt off for me to have a better look." He grins to himself, not giving your face the attention you'd given him. 

You laugh in response, and he uses his hands, placing them on your hips to keep you still while he finishes up and ties the last of the floss, snapping the excess off.   
As soon as he finishes you immediately grab the bottom of your dirty tank and pull it over your head making Negan, who has just raised to a better standing position looks over you with a taken back look before that grin spreads across his face again. 

You roll your eyes when you notice his stares, "Don't flatter yourself, I found clean clothes."

"Right.," he responds, unbelieving.   
"Can I borrow this shit?" He ask's pointing to the items you'd collected from the shop. 

"Knock yourself out," you reply, leaving the room. 

When Negan finally returns from the bathroom, he finds you bedded down in a corner, eating anything you could see that was edible in the store. You notice he's had a wash and managed to find himself the exact same white t-shirt he always wears but clean, making you wonder how he's always able to sniff them out.   
He sits next to you, which is a first. You both usually sleep far away from each other. But I supposed he put a needle in your body; you've broken all boundaries.   
As always he removes his leather jacket and uses this as a pillow, lying back with both arms up and tucked under his head. 

"I'll take first watch, doll. Get some shut-eye." He says quietly as not to disturb the silence of the room. You don't argue with that, pulling yourself down to the floor, wrapping a blanket around your arms as you try to get comfortable on the tiles. 

You shift around for a while until you're still but when you shut your eyes, you can't seem to fall away. You watch Negan who has picked up a random book and has started to read, probably a way to keep himself awake. But when your eyes land on his chest that is slowly moving in and out with each breath he takes you can only think about how inviting that looked. 

You sit up for a moment. Negan puts his book down in response and looks your way, waiting for you to say something. You don't speak, but find the courage to scoot closer to him. His brows furrowed a little as he watches you drag your blanket closer. His arm instinctively raises as you place your head on his chest. 

He still doesn't say anything which you defiantly thought he would have by now. Instead, he brushes your flyaway hairs that have fallen in your face away and picks his book back up, continuing to read. 

And just like you thought the sound of his heartbeat and slow breaths are just what you need to fall asleep. 

"I hate sleeping alone." You say, feeling like you need to give a reason for your actions. 

"Me too."


	6. Fuck, what am I supposed to fucking do, Lucille?

"Y/n."  
You hear your name lightly whispered pulling you out of your sleep. Your body is still in the same position it was when you laid your head down on his chest. The warmth radiating from his body and his light movements when he breathes try to pull you back in. 

"Hmm?" you respond, not bringing yourself to open your eyes just yet. 

"Y/n." He repeats your name this time with more venom like he was clenching his jaw like he was angry.

You blink open your eyes this time, "What?" you ask in a grumble. Negan’s arm that you’ve just noticed was wrapped around your shoulders flops to the ground as you sit up. As your eyes adjust, you realise Negan is still sleeping.  
_So much for taking shifts._  
His brows are creased, his jaw repeatedly clenching. Beads of sweat run from his hairline down the side of his face. You’re not sure if you should wake him, but it's not like you were both in any rush to get on the road.  
You bring your knees up to your chest, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and push the hair that has escaped your ponytail away from your face. 

"Y/n, wheres, Y/n?!” Negan mumbles out in anger. 

You turn your head to look at him again.  
"I'm right here," you say softly. You move your hand near Negan's face, an attempt you smooth out the wrinkles in his head caused by his frown. 

Negan bolts upright, quickly grabbing your wrist in a sharp, tight hold making you gasp in shock. His chest is heaving in and out faster than a hummingbird. His eyes are stone cold and boring into yours. It takes him second, but he blinks himself back to reality. It was like watching his soul re-enter his body, and when he realises what he’s doing, he immediately lets go of your hand. 

“You good?” He asks as if you woke him for a specific reason. Like he didn’t just have a nightmare. Like your hand wasn’t nearly ripped from your arm. He wipes the sweat from his head with his forearm as he leans back into the floor trying to catch his breath. 

“Are you?” You question back in confusion, eyebrow raised. 

"Peachy." Negan replies with his wicked smile. 

You take his word for it. Although many questions had rushed to the front of your mind about what just happened, you were trying to teach yourself to stop those thoughts from falling out of your mouth.  
“I’m gonna grab the stuff from the bathroom, leave in ten?” You ask, picking yourself off the ground. 

“Sure,” He replies with a slight nod. You turn your back, but as you take a few steps away he calls your name again, “Y/n?”

“Yeah?” You reply quickly spinning around on your heels. Negan pauses for a second and frowns, leaving you searching his face for the question. You are left at more confusion when Negan only starts to laugh to himself. You smile in response but you don’t exactly know what he’s laughing about and it was honestly making you nervous. 

“What? Why are you laughing?” You ask a little self-conscious now. 

“Nah nothing. Doesn’t matter.” He shrugs it off, a smile still planted on his lips. 

You know deep inside he is hiding something from you. That there is something in his head, he wants to get out and you can only assume his stubbornness to be an average person is getting in the way of that. You choose to ignore it though, imagining that he will tell you or ask you whatever he wants to say when the time is right. 

You give him a roll of the eyes as a reaction, disappearing into the bathroom to collect the items you had left there. 

“So,” you start, projecting your voice to the other room as you tuck things under your arms, “I recognised a sign on the way in here, we’re about a day out right?” you ask for confirmation, but when you get nothing back, you call out again. "Right?" Still nothing.  
You lean your body out of the door frame to make sure he hasn't died on you. "Negan- What are you doing?" 

Negan had found the bottle of vodka you'd used for your wound and then some. His movements paused, the bottle just about to hit his lips before you poked your head around and caught him. Negan gives you a smile before tipping the liquid into his mouth. 

"So I thought of a really fucking great idea!" Negan grins, holding another bottle out for you. 

"Stay in bed and day drink?" You half laugh at the sight in front of you. The sun was hitting his tired eyes; he pushes his fallen hair back into his usual do before opening both arms wide for you to join him. 

"Stay in bed and day drink!" Negan repeats your words enthusiastically and a little louder than necessary. He pats the spot where you'd left his side, half the blanket still draped over his legs. You shake your head and roll your eyes with a smile before starting to walk back over to him taking the bottle out of his hands.  
"Attagirl!" Negan gleams as he watches you intently let the clear drink burn down your throat. 

At first, the drinking makes you feel a little happier, a little warm. Like when you eat hot soup, and you can feel the heat down in your oesophagus and your stomach. You start to relax, feeling your inhibitions beginning to loosen up. Your confidence is elevated as you develop a buzz. Its slight at first, the sounds around you sort of diminish a little, and your eyesight becomes slightly less sharp. A little more and you start to become lightheaded. Its a similar feeling to when you spin around really fast as a kid, the world is spinning. You begin to have to concentrate on what Negan is saying and what you are looking at. It gets harder to move in a coordinated fashion, feeling like you’re moving your arms and legs while they are asleep like you’re operating a puppet. Your inhibitions are gone now. Sometimes you know what you’re doing or saying, but you feel detached like you’re sitting inside yourself listening and seeing things but its almost not you. Your thoughts start to slow, and you wait for them.

Negan is slumping against the wall and quite happy with you resting your head on his thighs.  
"You talk in your sleep ya know," you state, the words begin to slur out of your mouth as you continue to stare at the patterns in the ceiling. 

"I'm veeery much aware of that." He slurs his words too which makes you laugh a little to yourself. 

"So- so- so what were you dreaming of Negan?" You asked trying to be serious; your brows are furrowing, genuinely interested in what he has to say.

"Fuck if I remember," Negan tries to concentrate on your face that looks up to him. 

"Well, you said," you point at Negan with a shaky hand. "MY. name." you narrow your eyes in accusation.

Negan laughs his deep below of a laugh at your inability to keep a still arm until his eyes ping to yours and his eyes narrow. "Oh shit, maybe we were fucking, I did wake up with a-" 

You scramble up his body reaching out to place your hand over his mouth like a child to stop him from speaking filth. "Stop. Stop. Stop!" you laugh trying to keep your hands over his wriggling face. You drop your hands and poke his chest with your index finger. "No, you said it like angry." you pull your meanest face to represent the feeling. 

Negans grin is wide, bearing all his teeth, "Maybe we were hate fucking." he raises an eyebrow. You immediately bring your hands over his mouth again to stop him from talking, but he removes it quickly. "The possibilities are fucking endless, doll." He gets out quickly as you fight the power of his hands wrapped around your wrists but he undoubtedly is stronger than you and easily keeps them in place. 

In the midst of all the laughing Negan quickly leans forward and plants his lips on yours. Its light at first, him testing the waters waiting for your reaction. But when he feels your shock start to melt away as your close your eyes and lean into him, he deepens the kiss. His lips are melding and moving against yours so nicely, but when your heart starts to pick up the pace, you break the kiss suddenly. Negan follows your lips for a second; eyes still closed as you bring your face away.

You push your hand into his chest to stop his advances, and he leans back into the wall "This isn't a good idea," you say trying to convince him but more yourself. 

"Right right, shit, yeah probably not." Negan runs a hand over his beard. 

You sit on his lap still, not moving. You bite down on your bottom lip as your eyes flicker to his, seeing his eyes fixated on your mouth and his eyes turning dark again. "Defiantly... not... a... good... idea..." you draw the words out slowly but Negan doesn't reply, and the way he's looking at you makes you catch your breath in your throat.

_Fuck it._

You swing your leg over his thighs and straddle him quickly. You bring your face down to meet Negan's lips who has met you half way as he pushes himself off the wall seeing your advances. His lips crash into yours again, this time more fierce, more passion. You can feel his beard scratching against your face, but you don't mind. His rough hands snake there way around your waist as he pulls you in closer. 

Now he's got you he's no longer gentle about his actions. One hand is gripping your waist so hard you know it's going to leave bruises while the other finds its way around your neck, squeezing a little. You always did joke that you needed to find a man to choke you right. Negan pulls away from the kiss as he runs his hand that was around your throat down the side of your face. 

His thumb stops at your mouth, and he pulls your bottom lip down slightly before letting it ping back into place. Your eyes are heavy with lust and when he takes in your face his smile creeps back.  
"God help me, you are so fucking hot, doll." He says smoothly, his hand drops to join his other resting on your thighs.  
"Shit. I'm going to regret this so fucking bad." Negan pats your leg for you to move from him and you do, taking a seat next to him with your back leaning on the wall.  
"You were right; we're both fucked out our faces. I'm not taking advantage of that." He states, reassuring that you'd done nothing wrong. 

You laugh to yourself with your eyes closed before turning your head to look at him again, "Such a fucking gentleman." you smile.

"Steady on; I wouldn't say that." He smiles back. 

You lean your head on his shoulder, "Hey, whats your favourite colour?" you speak softly. 

"The things that come out of your mouth truly fucking amaze me, Y/n." Negan replies. 

"Just answer the question, Negan." You say, a small laugh leaving your lips. 

"Guess," he says. 

You prop your head up and lean your chin on his shoulder now, peering into his brown orbs with narrow eyes trying to pull the colour out of his mind.  
"Yellow," you say with determination, and he nods with a surprised look. You dart your head back in shock, "I'm right?" you ask with pure amazement, and he nods again. "I am so good at this," you whisper to yourself as you lean your head back down to rest on his shoulder. 

"You're drunk, that's what you are, doll." He says. It takes him a second to realise you'd accidentally fell asleep; you only meant to rest your eyes for a few seconds. But when he does, Negan moves your body. Gently he pulls you down to lay on the ground, bunching up his leather jacket and placing it under your head. 

The movements bring you out of sleep again, and you watch him unnoticed bring the blanket up and around your arms. Quickly closing your eyes again when he checks over your face to make sure he hadn't woke you. Negan stays seated next to you. He takes Lucille in his hands checking over the bat at first and then begins to spin it in his palms idly. You can see his mind ticking over, thoughts racking his brain. 

"Fuck, what am I supposed to fucking do, Lucille?" He whispers to himself, and I guess the bat. 

_What are you supposed to do about what, Negan?_  
_What are you hiding from me?_


	7. How the fuck did you get yes from that?

"So, this is it. Home stretch, you gonna miss me?" You ask, crisscrossing one foot in front of the other as you walk side by side with Negan. 

The sun had been killer today, or maybe you were just a tad hungover. Thankfully you'd seen some sunglasses left on a countertop back at the store which you'd swiped up.   
They were round and tinted red. Paired with your ripped jeans and boots they made you look badass.   
Negan didn't stop calling you John Lennon for a solid hour after you'd put them on.

"I wear a leather jacket; I have Lucille, my nut sack is made of steel. I’m sure I’ll do just fine." Negan declares, keeping his eyes focused on the path in front of him.

You smile smugly to yourself, "So that's a yes." you tease. 

Negan's eyes dart to yours and frown playfully, "How the fuck did you get yes from that?"

"You never said no." you sing back. 

Today had been odd, to say the least. There was this weird feeling in the air. Something just not sitting right with the two of you. You had assumed it was down to your 'what could have happened' moment last night.   
But back at the store, you called him out on it. And as Negan does, he laughed it off. In fact, he was utterly chilled out about the whole thing. Even joking with you about who started the entire thing and stating if you hadn't been drunk it would have been 'the best fuck of your life'. Negans words, not yours.   
As you both reach the top of the hill, you'd been trekking up for what felt like years Negan's feet stop moving. You nearly bump into him, not noticing he had stopped but when you reach his side you realise where you are. An old church lays to the right of you, beyond the church is trees and beyond that is Hilltop. You made it; you finally made it back. 

A small smile forms on your lips as you look at the scene in front of you. Your gaze returns to Negan who seemed to be already looking at you. His head quickly drops, and his eyes dart away. You can't help but wonder if you'd seen a small frown on his face before he looked away.

After taking a moment, Negan begins to move again, "All I'm saying is I'm pretty but hurt I'm never gonna see your ass sitting in a bikini next to the pool, sippin' vodka on ice in Morocco." he continued, his grin returning to his face at the thought. 

Your brows crease when he brings Morocco up but ease out when you realised he'd actually remembered that conversation, "We're still going to Morocco." you reassure him. 

"Sure."   
He doesn't believe you. 

"You see that church over there," you point to the old building making his eyes follow yours, "When this is all over, I'll meet you there," you promise. 

"It's a fucking date, doll."   
It doesn't take much to make that man smile.   
But it also doesn't take much for his face to turn sour. So when you do see his pearly whites, you feel some sort of accomplishment. His smile too also puts you at ease and makes you nervous at the same time, and you're still wondering how that can be. 

"Okay let me hear it." you start, side stepping in front of Negan and turning to face him. Continuing to walk backwards as Negan walks towards you, just like you did on the train tracks. Some sort of trust exercise you thought, hoping he wouldn't let you walk into a tree or a walker.

Negan frowns, "Hear what?"

You gesture with your hand to the church, "I'm all ears, Negan. Let me hear your confession. Repent, and thou shall be saved!" you continue in dramatic fashion, the corner of your mouths pulling up into a grin as his only reaction is to laugh and shake his head.

"That shit is not even from the bible, doll. That's the graffiti you see teenage dickbags write everywhere." He says matter of factly.

Your face is a little shocked and dumbfounded. "Well, first of all, it surprises me that you’ve read the bible. And secondly, that's disappointing that's basically my entire knowledge of scripture." you cock your top lip up and shrug your shoulders. 

"Try this one. Repent, turn back, and thy sins will be blotted out!" He suggests with raised brows.

"Not really as catchy is it" you scrunch your face up in thought and Negan just laughs. 

You can't help but think about how your life is going to be when you get back. More importantly and the thought that was at the front of your brain is that you are probably never going to see Negan again after today. Watching the light in his eyes when he laughs and how he his whole body moves when he does. Negan says you're 'really something', whatever that means. Maybe you'll even miss him. 

"You could come back with me ya know, back to Hilltop." You suggest after the laughter dies down. 

Negan looks at you like you'd just asked him to walk into a herd of walkers like you were crazy, "And get shot again by dicky Ricky over there, no thanks."

"I wouldn't let them kill you," you say, and you meant it.

Negans face eases as he realises you actually believed that you could stop dozens of people single-handedly that were trying to kill him. He sighs before putting a stop to your thoughts, "Even if you did have some persuasion over those arseholes. Which you don’t by the way," 

"Rude." You added but let him continue. 

"They would lock my ass up for life. Think id rather bite the bullet." He finished, and he was right. You couldn't promise his safety, and even if he weren't killed, he would live a horrible life. You'd just be being selfish.   
"We're here." Negan stops and interrupts your thought. You turn around to see that you were now at the edge of the forest. Moving any closer and you'd be able to see Hilltop and the people there, but they'd also be able to see you. 

So this is where you both have to part ways.

"Time flys when you're having fun," Negan added, still stood behind you as you continue to look out beyond the trees. 

You turn back to look at Negan, taking in your sight for one last time. His leather jacket, that red scarf, Lucille resting on his shoulders, his hair slicked back so nicely. Not really knowing how to start this goodbye. In truth, you think you are actually going to miss him.  
'You're an asshole, and you nearly killed me, and I should hate you. But I don't.' Is what you should have said. 

"Isn't life funny?" Is what you said instead. 

Negan grins wide, showing his pearly whites and dimples. The smile that you'd become so fond of, "Sure fucking is."  
Silence washes over the two of you. It wasn't an awkward silence, more... sad. You couldn't help but let your face show your emotion, and Negan quickly picked up on it.  
"Don't- Don't fucking look at me like that." Negan loosely points Lucille at you before letting her swing back down to his side as he takes a few steps back. 

Your brows furrow innocently, "Like what?"

"Like you’re gonna fucking miss me." He accused harshly; his voice raises slightly. He paces in a small circle and wipes his hand over his beard before continuing, "I fucked your perfect life up. Fucking hate me. Scream, shout, swear. Do something for fuck sake!" He's shouting now making you quickly look around to make sure no walkers were inbound. 

You realise that instead of wanting to say goodbye Negan would rather you both end on bad terms. Maybe he wouldn't have to miss you if you didn't miss him.   
"You don't do goodbyes, do you?" you say calmly. 

You try to keep eye contact with a man whose eyes looked like stone. His jaw clenches before he speaks, "I don't fucking do goodbyes, doll." 

"You trust me?" you ask. Negan thinks for a moment, just looking at you before giving you a nod. A barely unnoticeable nod, but it was there.  
"Close your eyes," you say, your tone still calm and to your surprise, Negan does. You see his eyelids slowly close and wait for the next steps. 

You planned to leave now. Meaning Negan would never have to say goodbye, that you would just be gone by the time he opens up his eyes again. But seeing him standing there, something made you move towards him.   
Stopping just short of his chest you use your toes to push your face up towards his. Gently you plant your lips on his, a small kiss, delicate but enough to say goodbye without having to use words. 

"Don’t you dare forget about me." You whisper as you pull away. 

You walk away and don't stop to look back. You don't know if he still has his eyes closed or if he's watching you leave. But turning around to see either of those possibilities would crush you. 

You just left someone out here alone. Yes, he will be okay. But he will be alone. You spent so many years on the road by yourself; you know how those days go by. Maybe he will find other people, rebuild the sanctuary. You can't think about that now.   
Your path is leading to the gates of Hilltop, and it doesn't take long for someone on watch to spot you. 

"Oh shit. Is that Y/N?!"  
"Someone get Rick!"  
"Open the gate!"


	8. Who said anything about, Negan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Just wants to say again I really do appreciate your lovely comments! To everyone who's posted something on my work, THANK YOU!

Coming home was something. A feeling you couldn't quite place yet. You were happy and sad and relieved and anxious and everything, you felt everything at this moment. Maybe that was what Negan meant when he said you were 'something'. It was like walking in slow motion through a crowd of faces that had stopped what they were doing to look at who was causing all the fuss.  
Daryl was the first to actually approach you. He was sat at first on some steps, crossbow in hand, concentrating on making his tweaks to the weapon, so it never failed him. Not like you. His eyes drifted aimlessly upwards but as soon as they saw you his whole body froze. Immediately dropping the bow and launching himself into a sprint until his body reached yours and his arms wrapped around your shoulders. Your head fell into his chest, and he held you tight. His hand is on the back of your hair, and his chin rests on your head. 

Daryl pulls away slightly, placing both palms of his hands on the side of your face and his forehead leans into yours, his long hair falling into your face. "Where the damn hell have you been?" He whispers to you, to himself, probably a passing thought that left his lips. 

You don't answer; it's not a question that needs answering, you were just gone. When Daryl pulls you into another hug, you rest your head on his shoulder now. Your eyes are open and looking at the rest of Hilltop who had entirely taken the time to stop and stare. Rick stands in front of you, a small smile on his face as he nods to you. 

You return the gesture, but his smile soon fades. "Negan?" Rick mouths the words to you. An attempt to not ruin the moment but have his burning question answered as quickly as possible. Is Negan still alive?  
Scenes of Negan laughing flood your thoughts, and you shake your head to answer his question. An answer that may well come to bite you in the ass if Negan ever decides builds a community again and take revenge. 

Things went back to normal pretty quickly around here. You didn't have a job before, given the war but Rick had appointed you as some sort of prison guard. Basically, you watch over the remaining saviours in the cells that didn't want to play happy families, make sure they don't escape or die, that they eat there three meals a day and stay in line. Rick said he'd given you this job because you weren't afraid to get your hands dirty if needed. What he was referring to was the large number looming over your head of the people you'd killed, the answer to the first three questions Daryl asked you and the reason Rick didn't want to let you join the group. 

One whole week had passed but your mornings never changed. You could not get Negan out of your head. Each day you arose you'd look around expecting to see him, to hear some witty comment and it always took you a second to realise he was never going to be there. That he was still out in the open, surviving on his own. Bourbon was just about the only thing that could remove that picture from your head nowadays.

Life at Hilltop was good. You and Daryl were, well you were just about the same. That man had so many walls built up, it was always going to take time to climb them, but you never stopped trying. Rosita and Tara had become your best friends here, and they were everything. They made you cry with laughter most nights, and you confided in them about everything, well mostly everything, everything apart from Negan.

Life was good.

You push with your back to open the door to the cells carrying a tray full of food to give to the prisoners.  
Simon was the first to greet you like always, "Here. She. Is! A gift from God himself and she comes bearing food!" He grins, immediately sitting upright on his bed. 

"Shut up, Simon, or you'll get fuck all." you sing, but the threat had meaning to it. Simon always liked to push your buttons, but he knew if he pushes too far he will end up missing a meal. You could be cruel when you wanted to be. Simon was different to the other saviours though; you actually engaged in conversation with him, that was when he wasn't an ass. He was just about the only person in this room that could make you laugh; he was the reason you didn't mind this job so much. 

You place the tray on your desk, handing out each bowl one at a time, set with a spoon and a cup of coffee.  
You handed Simon his food through the bars. He takes one look at the contents of the bowl before looking back up to you with a cocked lip, raising his moustache as he does. "What the fuck is this shit?" He asks in disgust. 

You look down to the mush that you think was supposed to be porridge before looking back to Simon, just as he did. "Well, Simon, honestly it looks like a dog threw up in a bowl and they were just like fuck it, we'll give it to the prisoners." You grin widely, "Bon appetit!" 

You turn and head back to your desk, slumping into your chair like you've had a hard day when in fact you haven't been outside Hilltop since you got back. You swing your feet up banging each boot on top of the desk as you get comfy. Using your index finger, you flick down the sunglasses that were resting on your head, so they fell in front of your eyes tinting your vision red.

"Hope this shit tastes better than it looks," Simon mumbles to himself. 

You lean your head to the side, "I have my fingers crossed for you," you bring your hand up to show him proof with a sarcastic smile. 

Simon brings the food to his mouth and takes a small bite; his face is pleasantly surprised that it didn't half taste as bad as he thought. "Ya know," Simon starts before taking in another mouth full, "You'd of made a hell of a saviour." He continues, swallowing what food he had in his mouth before using his spoon to point at you, "You can be a ruthless bitch when you want to be."

You only hummed in response and gave a sarcastic smile to his direction. Simon brings his cup to his lips taking a gulp before pulling a face like he'd just ate a lemon. "Is there whisky in this?" he asks, going back in to smell the liquid in the cup. 

"Shit," you immediately swing your legs down and get out of your chair, moving to his cell. "Yeah, that's mine." You say, grabbing his cup and swapping it for what was supposed to be his.  
Simon only gives you a look, one that says he's not judging but secretly is. I mean it wasn't even ten o'clock in the morning yet, and you were drinking, you'd judge you too.  
"It's been a long week." you tried to make an excuse for yourself. 

"Drinking to remember or forget?" Simon connects his sharp eyes with yours. 

You hold your cup in the air and tip it as to cheers him, "I'm drinking to drink." you smile.

"Nobody drinks like that unless they are trying to push something out of there fucking head," He taps the side of his temple for emphasis, "Or somebody..."

"Don't- don't start this shit again, Simon-" You go to turn away but Simon darts his hand through the bars and grabs your arm, stopping you from leaving. You look down to his hand wrapped around your skin before looking back up to his face and cocking an eyebrow.  
"I've told you a thousand times, Simon. Negan. Is. Dead." You say sternly now. 

Simon has a smug smile planted on his lips, "Who said anything about, Negan?" 

You jerk your arm free from his grasp, visibly angry now. You lean in a little closer to the bars, closer to his face. "You grab me like that again, and I'll punch you so hard I'll knock that fucking pornstache off your face."  
Simon puts both his hands up in surrender, backing off gently but still showing that same knowing smile.  
"Fucking prick." you mutter. You move quickly, grabbing your jacket off the back of your chair and swinging it over your shoulders. Pushing through the door so hard it slams shut behind you. 

You lean back against the door, sliding down the steel until your crouched on the floor. You use your hands to push your round sunglasses from your face and into your hair. Your fingertips rub your eyes and your head to try to push the guilt from your head. To try to force him out of your brain.  
When you open your eyes again you see Rosita and Tara stood on the other side of the opening, Tara had nudged Rosita with her elbow and directed her attention to you. 

"You okay?" Rosita mouths to you rather than shouting over the space, her brows are furrowed. You nod in reply with a forced smile and gesture to the building you'd just come out of, rolling your eyes. 

"Want me to kill them?" Tara mouths now with a smile making you laugh. 

You nod your head enthusiastically. Tara immediately goes to take her gun out of her jeans as a joke which Rosita didn't find funny. You did, however, find it amusing when they argued like this. You can hear Rosita telling Tara to stop being so stupid and Tara acting like she didn't just pull out a loaded weapon in an area full of mothers and children.  
You find the mental strength to get off the floor now and shout to the girls that you're headed out for a little bit to which Rosita nods her head and whistles up to the guards to open the gate for you. 

As soon as the gate closes behind you, you walk fast trying to get some distance between you and Hilltop. It's only when you're almost at the church that you take a moment to appreciate the silence, this was the first time you'd been out since the whole Negan thing. You close your eyes, tilting your head slightly up to feel the gentle breeze on your skin. The sun warms your face and birds chirping around you makes you smile. 

You hear a crack of branches, and your head quickly snaps to the direction of the sound. Your fingertips dance, ready to grab the gun hanging at the side of your jeans encased in leather. You feel a hand slide over your skin and on your shoulder, making you spin. Your hair flicks out and flows with you as you turn. Your hand has grabbed the gun, releasing the safety as you aim for the head. You go to pull the trigger when you realise standing in front of you was no walker. 

You peek to the side of your gun to see a leather jacket, red scarf, barb wired covered bat, slicked-back hair and a cheshire cat grin.  
"Miss me, doll?" 

"Negan!?" you yell before placing your gun back in its holster and taking a sigh of relief. "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me." You use both your hands to push into his chest making him take a few steps back. 

"Whoa, ay, no need for violence-"

"What the hell are you doing here?!" You cut him off hushing your tone now realising that shouting was just going to attract unwanted attention, but your voice was still stern and demanding.

Negan ignores your question, “What? No hug? No kiss? You missed me, I know you fucking did. Gotta say you scrub up well, doll. Not that I ever minded a little grime and dirt on you." He moves and takes a lock of your hair between his fingertips, running his fingers down.  
He must not be used to seeing your hair so clean and brushed, it had a slight wave to it and framed your face so nicely now you’d had a trim by one of the Hilltop residents. His eyes distracted on the smooth silk before they return to yours and he grins.

You shake your head and move back, so he no longer is touching any part of you, "Negan! If they see you-"

“You really think I give a shit?“ He says casually.

"I do." You say quickly.

Negan stops, his smile fades, and his brows crease for a split second. Blink, and you would have missed it because that smile came back just as quickly.  
"What? You thought I came here to see you?" He laughs, dipping at the knees as he does, leaving you in utter confusion, "Nah, I came here to see Rick the prick, wheres that asshole at?” He says louder than necessary. His arms are wide open and looking around dramatically as if Rick was going to come walking out from behind the trees. 

You don’t know why you started laughing, maybe it was the alcohol or lack of sleep, but this whole situation was so fucked up it was just funny to you. But as soon as you did Negan stopped his movements to see your head tilted up as you laughed so hard tears were coming to your eyes. 

“Something fucking funny, doll?” Negan questions, like he wanted you to point out what you were laughing at and what he was missing. 

You catch your breath,“This is so fucked.” You say between little laughs now, you rub your temples and your eyes trying to stop your giggles from spilling out.

Negan frowns and takes a step forward, squinting his eyes slightly as if he couldn’t see you quite well enough, “Are you drunk?” He accuses. 

“No!” You reply quickly and defensive. “I mean, does it matter?” your eyes avoid his slightly. 

Negan cocks a brow, “You’re a fucking mess, Y/n, the fuck is going on down there?” He questions. 

That hit a nerve, and your face showed it, “Okay, I’m leaving now.” You say, turning your heels and starting to walk back in the direction you’d come from. 

“Oh for fuck sake,” Negan starts flapping his arms down in a huff, “That’s right, walk away from the only person who will tell you how it is. The only fucking person who will tell you the truth.” Negan's voice gets louder the further away you are. “WAKE UP! Look at yourself! You don’t fucking belong there!” he shouts to cover the distance. 

You tried not to turn back, not to bite his bait but you just couldn’t help it, something about him made you want to bite. “Why are you yelling at me?” You say, staying as calm as possible and turning back to look at him.

Negan starts to close the space between you with broad steps, “I thought we were going to Morocco. There is no Morocco. There's never been a fucking Morocco.” Negan jabbed. 

Your brows scrunch together, “Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why do you have to be so negative all the time?” A question you asked but knew would never be answered. “You don’t know what my life is like there, my relationship with Daryl, maybe it is love as much as it can be for somebody who-“

“Who never looked for you?” Negan cuts you off. “Who sat around a pretty little fucking campfire, with the rest of those pricks drinking beer. I was there!” He prods his index finger into his chest for emphasis. “First fucking thing I did was try to bring you back here, I was there!” 

You’re left speechless because you know he’s not lying. They never looked for you. You knew in your mind this was what he was trying to get out from the very beginning. That he was trying to put you off returning home and when he realised he couldn’t, he decided to find a way to tell you but never could.  
A tear escapes your eye, and you let it roll down your cheek until you wiped it away with the back of your hand, turning slightly away and looking to the sky, to try to conceal your pain as best as you could. You return your gaze to Negan, smiling as you did, a smile to try and remain carefree when in fact your world was privately crumbling into pieces. 

“Oh shit. I'm- Y/n-“ Negan runs a hand over his beard realising what he had done. 

You didn’t blame him though. 

You let out a small laugh, “What kind of beer?”


	9. Why did you tell him I was dead?

Negan told you he’d be at the church till sunrise the next day, he didn’t say outright come with me, but you knew the invitation was there. You didn’t want to think about that thought right now. Honestly, you didn’t want to think about anything right now. Your eyes were sore and heavy, the walk home felt longer for some reason, or maybe you were just dragging this out. You knew you’d have to ask, to have the unwanted answer. You know what they are going to say, but you need to hear them say it. It wasn’t true until they say it.

You can hear Tara’s voice in the distance, you know she’s speaking to you, but her words sound muffled. Your eyes are fixated on the wall behind Daryl’s head and your not sure how long its been since you blinked. 

Rosita snaps her fingers in front of your face instantly bringing you back to reality with a flutter of your eyelashes.  
“Hmm?” You respond absent-minded, turning your head to her. 

“Salad…” Rosita tries to remind you but when you give her a confused look she elaborates, “Tara asked for the salad? You’re really away with the fairies today, Y/n.” She laughs. 

“Right!” You respond, blinking a few more times to regain all of your soul. “Sorry, here.” You grab the bowl and pass it over. 

“You alright?” Daryl questions. You see genuine concern in his eyes, which is upsettingly funny. 

“Peachy.” You smile, words you had taken from Negan’s mouth. 

It was funny to you that you’d been invited to the family meal. That they evidently felt no guilt in not looking for you, that they could sit across from you and smile. While it took you a bottle of whisky to remove the thought of leaving Negan alone from your head and he was still alive. Bourbon, Bourbon was your new best friend at this table. And while you were still debating whether to bring up the burning rage inside you or play happy, whisky had been pointing out that this decision was a straightforward one to make. The still sober parts of your mind, however, begged you not to bring it up in fear of the answers you’d receive. 

You pushed your chair out with the back of your legs, letting it screech across the floor. Everyone stopped there chatter to look at you. You didn’t say a word though and let them watch you place a cigarette between your teeth and flicked the lighter. The flame licked the end of the cigarette, and you took a deep drag before blowing the smoke in the air. 

You clear your throat, “Well, this has been fun.” Your tone is dead, and your fake smile is so apparent to anyone who laid their eyes on you. You flicked the built up ash on the floor next to your boots before placing the cigarette back between your red lips. You grabbed your leather jacket on the back of the wooden chair, slinging it over your shoulder and walking out of the room. 

“Leave her, she’s drunk and in a mood.” You hear Rosita say as the door swings shut behind you. You can only think of who the person was that tried to get out of there chair to follow you and ask what the fuck your problem was. No doubt it would have been Daryl. 

You’ve been back to your room and filled a rucksack with clean clothes, your essentials and food to last some time till you could figure out what you were doing. What were you doing? Are you actually going to leave? At the moment the only place you wanted to go was the place that had more booze. 

“Good evening,” You hear Simons voice through the darkness of his cell as you enter the prison. You hadn’t turned the lights on as it was late and you didn’t want to wake anyone for your bad decisions. 

As your eyes adjust, you can see him sat on his bed reading, “Of course you’re still awake,” You smile, chucking your bag on your chair and going straight to the cupboard beneath your desk to retrieve some bourbon. 

“Of course you’re drinking whisky,” Simon replies, lifting his eyes only momentarily to see you bring the bottle up and place it on the desk. 

“Go deep throat a cactus, Simon.” You snapped back quickly, continuing to pour your drink. 

Simon pulls his book down and rests it on his chest smiling at your last remark, “What a nice shade of bitch you're wearing today.” He returns the sarcasm making you smile. You gesture an empty glass at him, and he nods, “Long day at the office, sweetheart?” He pulls himself upright out of his bed and watches as you pour his drink.

“Yeah, my boss is a real dickhead.” You play along, not taking your eyes off the liquid to not spill a drop. You take the glass with your index finger and thumb, taking a few steps and reaching your hand through the bars to place the glass in his hand. 

Simon sips the brown liquid with delight, the first time he’d had a stiff drink in a long time. “Well, you could just kill him.” He jokes. 

“Could do that, sure. Or. Or I could just quit.” You raise your shoulders slightly to this option. The option of quitting or in other words, leaving. Leaving Hilltop and everyone in it. 

Simon goes to take another sip before halting his action at your words, his eyes ping from the bag you’d left on your chair and then directly to yours. “Whoa wait. I was joking, are you leaving!?” Simon takes a step forward closer to the bars and to you, genuine shock on his face. And when he sees you shrug your shoulders again, he quickly places his glass on his small table before returning his gaze to you. “Whoa, ay, no!” He raises his voice slightly and points his index finger at you, his face sombre right now. “Don’t you dare fucking leave me here!” Simon continues, “Y/n!” He regains the attention of your wondering eyes, “Your sarcastic ass is the only reason I haven’t repeatedly bashed my head into a wall.”

You laugh, “I won’t leave you here.” You promise and you were serious, you wouldn’t leave him here. So you’ll take him with you. The thought popped into your head and your eyes lit up like the light bulb just turned on inside your mind. “I won’t leave you here,” You repeat your words, taking steps to the bars that parted you both. “So let's go.” You breathe in a whisper, keeping eye contact with a now very confused Simon as you place the key inside the lock and turn. 

Simon doesn’t say anything at first, his brows are creased as he gently pushes at the bars to open the door with his fingertips. Keeping his actions slow and cautious as he steps outside the cell as if he thought if he moves to fast you might change your mind. 

Simons shoulders become level with yours, “Are you okay?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” You retort, gulping down the rest of your glass. Simon only looks at your drink and then his eyes flick back to yours like it wasn’t obvious. You tilt the glass up and roll your eyes as if to say ‘I get it, I’m drinking too much’. You take your rucksack and throw it at an unexpecting Simon who catches it in a huff as it hits his chest. If you’re letting him go free the least he can do is hold your bag while you figure out how to get him through these walls without being spotted. 

With Simon to your right, you gently push on the door that leads to the rest of Hilltop to scout out anyone who was about. But when you open it an inch, you see Daryl, and his hand was already reached out to grab the handle before you opened it for him. In a panic, you keep the door only a creek open and using your free hand push Simon into the wall next to the door to keep him out of sight. 

With Simon hidden you open the door more and step into the door frame, “Hey,” You say trying to stay casual. Your eyes dart back to Simon to see him squirming under your hand, but every time he tried to push out of your grasp you’d push him harder into the wall to keep him in place. 

“I’ve been looking for ya, what the hell was all that about back there?” Daryl questions, his loose hand gestures back to the building you stormed out of.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” You lie, which was no use doing to Daryl because he can see straight through a liar. He can read it on your face like a book. Daryl frowns like you know better than to lie to him which you did. 

“Clearly weren’t nothin’” He prods for answers. “Look, I know its been hard for you, getting into the swing of things here. Living a normal life, not havin’ to survive out there on your own an that-“ 

“Did you look for me?” You cut him off, the question just falls out of your mouth. Guess the alcohol won the battle with your mind. “After I fell,” You explain quickly to a confused Daryl, “Did you or anyone here look for me?” Your voice was that of passion and sorrow all tied nicely with a bow. 

Daryl was silent at first though, which answered your question thoroughly. “We thought you were dead, Y/n-“

“Goodnight, Daryl.” You sighed, closing the door on him. You place your forehead on the cold door and close your eyes. 

Simon watches undetected through the window as Daryl moves out of ear range, “Is that what this is about?” Simon asks, reminding you that he was still there. “Fuck those assholes!” 

You laugh, opening your eyes and turning to him, “What are you my friend now?” You ask with a half smile, your head still resting on the door. 

“Better friend than they will ever be.” He claimed, raising a brow. 

“Lets just fucking go.” You smiled with a playful roll of your eyes, entirely done with this topic from now on. 

You peak open the door again, scanning the area while Simon stays out of sight with his back pressed up against the wall. “And how do you suppose we do that If they see me-“ Simon starts before you cut him off. 

“I’m not fucking stupid, I have a plan.” You snapped, still looking over the area. It being this late there weren’t many people about apart from the guards on top of the fence who took shifts making sure the area was safe. 

“You have a two-minute plan, it was two minutes ago you decided to take me with you.” Simon moans, making you roll your eyes again. For someone who was being saved and set free, he did nothing but whine. 

“Just stop fucking talking and let me think, would you?” You whisper sternly. You see out of the corner of your eyes Simon holding his hands up in defeat, letting you know he was going to shut the fuck up. Your eyes darted for every possible exit, and then it hit you. You remembered watching Enid looking very suspicious one day, creeping around Hilltop. Your eyes followed her curiously as she moved a plank of wood from the fence that hung loosely on a nail. Her body slipped out through the gap, and she let the wood swing shut like nothing had ever happened. You never said anything to her or anyone because, well because your not a narc and she was more than capable of taking care of herself. 

You open the door fully and bend to your knees to keep out of view, “Stay low,” You say, gesturing to Simon to get down. Simon follows your instructions, readjusting your bag on his shoulders as he does. You move slowly out of the building and when seeing the coast was clear, you use two fingers to wave Simon over. Using the patches of long grass to hide in and structures as cover you and Simon make your way to the secret exit. 

As soon as you reached the exit, you immediately slid the plank of wood up and hurried Simon through the gap. Simon pushes your bag through the hole before contorting his body to slip through. However, after some time, it became apart to you that he was struggling to fit through the small space.  
“Shit, I can’t get through!” He whispers, his voice showing distress as he tries to pull the bottom half of his body through.

“Yes, you can! Go!” You whisper back quickly. You hear a door creak open to the building you were next to, and you begin to panic. “GO! GO!” You whisper, using your shoulder and all your strength you push Simon all of the way through. 

“The fuck, that hurt,” Simon grumbled, batting the dirt off his hands as he sat on the grass. 

You hurl yourself through the gap quickly letting the plank swing shut. Getting back to your feet you walk fast, grabbing Simons shoulder and dragging him up too. Simon, in turn, swings his hand down to grab the bag, and you both take off fast into the woods. 

“So misses I have a plan, we’re we going?” Simon questions, his voice had returned to a reasonable level now we were out of view of the Hilltop.

You let the corners of your mouth turn up, “You’ll see.” 

The church was in sight now, the run-down building that was barely still standing. You wondered how Negan slept out here with the many open access points for walkers to wander in to. You guessed he probably didn’t sleep at all. Speaking of the devil, he must have heard the noise you both were making because you can see his silhouette appear in the doorway, lit by only the moonlight. Somehow you can still make out his smile through the darkness though. 

“Doll, did you bring me a fucking gift?” Negan’s voice echoed through the trees as he steps out into better light and swings Lucille over his shoulder, his usual stance. 

Simons' eyes squint as if they were deceiving him, “You sneaky son of a bitch. Negan!?” He marvelled. 

When Simon reached him, they gave each other the one-armed typical man hug and a few pats on the back “Simon!” Negan exclaimed, relieved to still see him kicking. 

“I thought you were dead,” Simon starts pulling away from the bro hug but still hangs his arm around Negans shoulders. “I thought he was dead,” Simon says to you, pointing to Negan with his free hand like you couldn’t see him stood there, “You told me he was dead, you fucking lied to me, gotta say I’m fucking hurt.” Simon holds a hand to his heart like you’d crushed him with this lie. 

Negan laughs, “Why did you tell him I was dead?” His brows crease, but he still keeps his smile.

“Because he has a big fucking mouth.” You reply making Negan grin wider before pulling the corners of his mouth down as if to say ‘fair point’. “So you’re both very fucking welcome, by the way, still yet to hear a thank you for reuniting you loves birds, but you’re both clearly in shock, so I’ll let it slide.” The sarcasm drips off your tongue, still feeling a little riled up from everything with Hilltop.  
You start to take steps back and away from the men, “Simon, its been a pleasure. Negan, I know you don’t do goodbyes so…” You put two fingers on your forehead and salute him before turning on your heels to start to walk away and go your own way. You sweep your bag off the floor that Simon had dropped when he had seen Negan, and you sling it around your shoulders. 

“Whoa, ay, where you going?” Negan asks, making a quick sprint to catch up to your side leaving Simon behind.

He slows his pace when he reaches you and looks down at your face for the answer, “Don’t know yet.” You say, avoiding eye contact and keeping your eyes on the ground in front of you. 

“No.” Negan declares, stopping his footsteps he grabs your forearm to stop you too. 

“No?” You repeat his words, finally looking at him but with pure confusion, “You can’t just tell me no. So… yes.” 

“Don’t-“

“What you think I can’t take care of myself?” You accused, not letting him speak but also putting words in his mouth which was not the smartest of things to do. 

Negan smiles wide, showing his pearly whites, his eyes were shining so nicely with the moon. “Oh I know you can,” His voice hits a deeper note as he dips at the knees, his expression still amused, “You are damn fucking dangerous, doll.” He finishes. 

You laugh at his response of calling you dangerous, “Dangerous? Ha, and why is that?” You dared him to continue, it wasn’t going to take much for you to go off tonight.

“Because you don’t damn well need anyone,” He went on, his smile faded when yours did. “Doesn’t mean you should be alone.” His voice gets quiet leaving you stood staring at him unsure of what to say next. Being alone is all you know, and for a good reason, people are shit, and they don’t deserve saving from this world. You were better off alone. 

“I heard the sanctuary is overrun by walkers now.” You give Negan the advise, hoping he would take this information and just leave you to wallow in your own pity. 

“So we clear them out. Rebuild.” He responds confidently, explicitly using the word ‘we’ to pull you back in. 

“Are you going to keep following me until I agree to help you?” You ask, playfully raising an eyebrow.

“Damn straight.” He smiles knowing he’s already won. Negan doesn’t leave your side waiting for you to agree. In fact, when your eyes begin to wander in thought, Negan dips his knees lowering his body and waving his head around trying to recapture you eye line which in turn makes you laugh. The exact response he was hoping for because he looks proud of himself for making you smile again.

“Jesus, fine. I’ll help. Then I’m leaving.” You shake your head and start walking back to Simon.

“That’s my girl!” Negan gleams, and as you start to walk back to Simon, Negan wraps his arm around your neck pulling you into his body. “This is going to be so much fucking fun!”


	10. So which emotion have I stirred up in that pretty little head of yours?

Your eyes are half shut to keep the sun out, your fingers are hooked through the gaps of the chain linked fence separating you and the sanctuary. Your eyes are scanning the area, working out the best way to get into the building. The best way to take out these walkers without risking the safety of yourself, Negan or Simon. 

“So whats the dealio between you two?” Simon asks Negan, the both of them stay behind you. Negan rests casually against a forgotten car, tossing Lucille around idly to keep him occupied. While Simon remains in the shade, sitting on the edge of a broken brick wall. Both are waiting for you to figure a way in without getting anyone killed. 

“Whatever do you mean, Simon?” Negan looks up from Lucille with a sarcastic smile, “Are you asking if we’re doing the freaky deaky?” Negan frowns playfully, using Lucille to point from you to himself, “Simon, you pervert!” Negan and Simon both laugh and you don’t know if you should be regretting the decision of bringing them both back together. Both men had clearly missed each other as they caught up on everything the other had missed. Although Negan had skipped over a few moments, moments when you were closer to him than perhaps he wanted to let on. 

“You do know I can hear you both right?” You chime in, not giving them the attention of your eyes but trying to squash this topic of conversation. 

They both ignore your comment as Simon continues, “I’m just saying its really fucking weird that you ruined her chance at a white picket fence life and she hasn’t tried to kill you.” 

“Oh, she’s tried to kill me.” Negan grins, “Isn’t that right, doll?” He shouts a little louder than necessary for the distance between you, but you ignore his question. Instead, you quickly and sharply spring your hand up, giving Negan the bird over your shoulder. You can only imagine Negan smiled at that gesture as you hear him give a low small laugh. 

“Then why the hell ain't you dead?” Simon raises a brow just as you finish surveilling the area and find your access point.

You turn to look at both men, and their eyes flicker over to your movement, “Because he fucked up my leg while ruining my chance at a white picket fence life.” You answered the question for Negan. Your tone is over the top happy and sarcastic. Negan knew though you had no hard feelings now, that all of that shit was way behind the both of you. 

“You were never the white picket type of woman, doll.” Negan smiles your way. A smile that's taken you off guard, it was sweeter than his usual grin, a lot softer. You couldn’t help but find the corners of your mouth begin to turn up to replicate the smile.

As soon you realised what you were doing though you let the smile drop from your face and your eyes dart quickly away from Negan, “Right well if you two are done gossiping like little school girls, I can see an opening on the right say we take it from there.” You inform the two of them, moving now to grab your bag and throw it around your shoulders. 

“Home sweet home fuckers, let's go!” Negan gleams, pushing himself off the car. 

Simon takes the lead, moving in front of the two of you. Negan goes to follow his right-hand man when you grab the leather of his arm to stop him. Negan's body stops close to yours as he looks down at you. Your eyes make contact with his brown orbs before speaking, “I’m gonna want my knife back before I leave.” You advise him, remembering that he still had it. 

Negan smiles, his free hand finds its way to the side of your stomach. You were wearing a black vest with a plaid overshirt which hung loosely around you, it being a few sizes too big. Negan uses his hand to gently push the plaid shirt out of the way making your breath become hitched when his knuckles accidentally brush your bare skin where your vest had ridden up. Negan finally breaks eye contact to look down to see the vast amount of knives you had hanging from the belt off your jeans. 

“You gonna add it to your collection?” He smirks before looking back at you. 

You give Negan a half smile before moving past him to join Simon. Simon had already taken out a few wondering walkers and was pushing forward on his own until you and Negan took your places beside him. Thankfully the sanctuary had been abandoned for some time, and the crowds of walkers had thinned out meaning it didn’t take long to clear the walkers in front of the building. You all worked well together, locking up the gates stopping any more from getting in. You take your first steps into the sanctuary, it was a lot bigger than you were expecting. You see Negan taking in his surroundings too, a small smile creeps up on his face which makes you happy. Why does making him happy make you happy? 

“Hey! Shit dick!” You hear Simon call from the other end of the hallway, dragging your attention over to him. You raise a brow in response, did he just call you a shit dick? “Bet I can take out more walkers than you can!” He yells, stabbing another in the head. 

“Get fucked,” You narrow your competitive eyes at him, “What are the stakes?” 

Simon throws his arms in the air, “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Think carefully, doll” Negan whispers to only you.

“Right hook to your jaw.” You reply quickly, raising your voice to be heard over the distance. Negan’s eyes widen at your response before he falls into loud laughter. 

Simon pulls his head back like he didn’t just hear that, “Fuck am I letting you knock my teeth out. Why the fuck you wanna do that?” He yells. 

“You have a punchable face.” You smile, shrugging your shoulders. 

Simon thinks for a moment, “Fine!” He gestures to you, bringing his index finger up to emphasise his next statement.“You get one good swing, One! And that's it, and if I win, I want… a kiss. A no holds bar kiss, tongues and all.” He finishes with his arms out wide inviting you to the game. 

You take two of your knives from the holsters in your jeans and spin them both in the palms of your hands, smiling widely, “Game on, bitch.” 

You take off towards Simon in a sprint, but as soon as he sees you, he too starts running down the hall. Every walker you come across you stab in the head quickly before scouting out the next. Each time keeping count and yelling at Simon who is in a different room which number you are on. 

“11!” You yell,  
“13!” You hear Simon shout back. 

Damn, you move faster, determined to win. You enter a room which held a fair amount of dead bringing your number up. “20!” You shout but get only a grumbled moan in reply which meant you were winning. 

You hear Negan’s footsteps approach the door, so you grab the nearest walker. This walker just so happened to previously work in fast food, his uniform giving that away. Holding the walker up in front of you, you hide behind the door and wait for Negan to open it. As soon as he does you jump out in front of him with the dead corpse. Using your hand, you move the walkers arm up and down reaching out for Negan who is just looking at you with a bewildered smile.  
“Hello, can I take your order?” You try to say without laughing as you move the jaw open and closed. 

“Fucking, Jesus Christ.” Negan grins. “Put that thing down.” He laughs. 

“23!” Simon yells as you see his figure dart past the doorway. 

“Shit!” You mutter, letting the walker drop to the ground as you take off again sliding past Negan and heading towards Simon’s voice. 

Negan went into every room after both you and Simon had been in there to check that everything was dead. The bet had come down to one last room, one last place that had only three dead still moving about in. Negan had finally caught up and stood in the line next to you and Simon. 

“34,” Simon informs you. 

“32.” Your jaw tightens. 

Simon glances over at you, and your eyes make contact with his and narrow. You see him squeeze the handle of his knife a little harder as he takes a leap forward. When you notice him move, your feet start making paces into a sprint too. You hear a yell and when you turn your head back as you run you can see Simon falling to the ground. Must have gotten his foot caught on something or tripped over on his own damn feet. You burst out laughing as you continue to run to the last remaining dead. You dart and weave between the walkers, swiftly taking them all out and winning the bet. 

“And that!” You start, turning back to both men. “That is how you do it!” You mock Simon who is still batting the dirt off his legs. “Please, please, stop! I know, I know, I’m amazing!” You say sarcastically holding your arms out as if people were cheering your name. Finally, you take a bow ending your show. Negan hooks Lucille between his arm and chest as he gives you a well dissevered long clap of congratulations. 

You walk back over to the men, but when Simon sees your advances he starts to take a few steps backwards, “About this bet-“ Simon starts holding his palm out before you cut him off. Simons face braces for impact as you swing your curled up fist and drag it across his cheek. Your knuckles connecting with his skin makes Simon’s head fall to the side as he immediately brings his own hand to his face and cups his cheek. “Fucking shit, fuck-“ 

“Fucking brilliant, that was fucking brilliant!” Negan shocked face falls into laughter at Simons response. 

“Oh c’mon, Simon I didn’t hit you that hard” You chuckle, trying to move his hand away from his face to access the damage but Simon just pushes you away. “Ay, c’mon. No hard feelings?” You try to coax him back to being friends. 

Simon finally stands up straight again and removed the shield he’d created on his face, the skin on his cheek had rosed up from the impact. Simon stretches his face out, widening his mouth and eyes as he moves his jaw around to make sure nothing was broken. His face is dangerous, and his mouth is set in a hard line as his jaw tightens as he looks at you with pure anger making your smile drop from your face in an instant. 

“I’m just fucking with you!” Simons face springs back up to a grin and your hold body washes over with relief. 

Simon goes on to tell you that you have a hell of a right hook on you and to be honest you sometimes don’t know your own strength so you can believe that. Simon and Negan give you a guided tour of the place while you helped clear out all of the dead, accompanied with added commentary from both men. It was mostly them telling you old stories and bickering about what actually happened and you just crying with laughter. The Sanctuary was officially a home again, and your work here was done. You’d made your way to Negans room, the only place you’d not been shown on your tour of the building. The door was shut, and you knew he was inside, you stand outside for a moment wondering whether to knock. Knowing if you did knock you’d have to say goodbye, maybe you weren’t so good at goodbyes either. 

Your eyes spring wide when the door you were debating on tapping your knuckles on suddenly swings open. Negans body almost walks into you, in defence, you place your palms out. Negans chest bumps into your hands as he quickly comes to a halt and his eyes ping down at you. He no longer had his leather jacket and scarf on so your fingers were sat nicely on his soft cotton tee until you realised where your hands were and quickly coiled them back into yourself. 

“Were you just weirdly hovering outside my door?” Negans voice is husky like he’d just woken up from a nap and when your eyes travel up, his dishevelled hair and tired eyes confirms it. 

Negans close grin makes you feel unnerved, “Ugh, noooo.” You drag out the words unconvincingly. Negans brows pinch as he keeps his staple grin and after a minute of silence, you go to open your mouth, to start your goodbye but as soon as you do Negan cuts you off leaving your mouth gaping open for a second before you close it shut again. 

“Well don’t just fucking stand outside all day,” He says moving slightly to the side and stretches his arm out offering you permission to enter his room. You slide past him but he doesn’t give you much room to glide past, it seemed that Negan had no issue with personal space. 

As soon as you enter the space you take the room in, it was vintage style but everything was luxurious, I mean you wouldn’t expect anything else from Negan but damn this is a room. The window was huge with a fantastic view outside of the sanctuary fields, where they used to run the small farm. A whole wall which was just a bookshelf, filled with many many titles. A desk in the corner which had papers laying about, a half-read book, a bottle of scotch and a pair of glasses. You didn’t know he needed glasses. A door within the room which was half open revealed an en-suite bathroom, you could see the corner of a generous bathtub and tiled floor. Lucille rested on one of the wooden posts attached to the bed, the bed, Jesus Christ the bed was huge. It was neatly made, and the sheets looked so soft, so tempting. 

“Shit, this is nice.” You muttered, your eyes slightly widen in amazement. You look to Negan who was smiling as always, your eyes dart from the bed to him before you quickly shimmy out of your jacket and rucksack. You drop the bag beside you and let the coat hit the floor lazily before you take a run and jump towards the bed, turning mid-air and landing on the soft cotton with your back. You immediately spread out, feeling the fabric with your hands. 

“Well, I was gonna say make yourself at home but looks like you’ve already fucking done that.” Negan looks over to your smug face as he swings the door slowly shut and paces back over to his desk. 

You flip onto your side to look at him, tucking your hair behind your ear and placing a hand under your head, “So-“ You try to begin the topic you’d attempted earlier. 

“Drink?” Negan cuts you off again as he lifts the bottle of scotch and takes out two glasses. 

“No, thank you.” You reply watching him tilt his head slightly as if to say ‘suit yourself’, “I only really drink when I’m stressed or nervous or sad or angry or happy or excited or bored.” You explain, flopping back onto your back and ramble on as you look at the patterns in the ceiling. 

“So any damn emotion really?” He responds with a chuckle, making you turn your head grin, “So if you’re leaving me to drink all by my fucking lonesome, not cool by the way. What emotion are you feeling now?” Negan takes a seat at his desk, resting his boots on the corner of the wood and beginning to sip his drink, he looks at you thoughtfully. 

“Calm, I supposed… Just normal.” You let out casually, your hand is outstretched in front of you as you trace the lines in the ceiling with your fingertips. 

After a moment your eyes flicker over to Negan who was already looking at you. His eyes quickly dart away, and to the papers on his desk, he takes a massive gulp and lets the rest of the liquid in his glass fall down his throat. “Well shit,” He starts, swinging his legs back down and starting to rifle through his papers. “We have some shit we need to figure the fuck out, firstly, we need to get my fucking people back home.” Negan states, grabbing his glasses and gently putting them on so he can read better. 

Your brows furrow at the number of times he uses the word ‘we’, you sit up now on the bed looking at him, “So are WE just gonna skip over the fact I’m leaving or?” You ask quite confused. 

“What the fuck do you want me to say, doll?” Negan throws a question back at you, a little harsher than needed. 

You nibble at your bottom lip, “I don’t know.” 

“I think you damn well do.” He responds quickly, his eyes narrow, he’s no longer playing nice. 

You sigh at his change in mood and hop off the bed, “You know what I think I’ll take that drink after all.” You walk over to his desk, but as your hand reaches the bottle, Negan quickly takes it from your grasp. 

Negans face is stone, unreadable, he holds the bottle ready, and you move a glass in front of him. “So which emotion have I stirred up in that pretty little head of yours?” A corner of his mouth lifts, as he pours the brown liquid into the glass. His eyes aren’t on you at first, he finishes what he’s doing before they connect with yours.

Nervous, he makes you nervous. Which you don’t know if its a good thing or not and you don’t want to test the waters. “You piss me off sometimes,” you partially lie while you lean slightly on the desk, beginning to sip the harsh liquor. 

Your eyes watch as Negan lifts himself from the chair and moves around to you. You don’t move, your body is frozen when he steps into your space. His eyes drift to your arm as the tips of his fingers glide over your skin, and he can feel the goosebumps he’s created. “Liar.” He hums softly. Your chest begins to give you away as your breaths become shorter and the grip around your glass becomes tighter. His eyes travel up your torso, as he moves closer, his solid chest pushes into yours. His hand glides around the back of your neck as pushes all your hair to one side and lowers his head to the crook of your neck. He gently places his lips on your skin, and it takes everything in you not to gasp. Negan continues to trail his kisses across your skin slowly making his way up, your eyes instinctively close as you tilt your head back giving him more access. 

His gentle kisses soon become more lustful, but before he can go too far, you take a step back, “Stop.” You breathe. 

Negan pulls away too, his face looks like he’s not surprised, “Why don’t you just do what you fucking want to do for once?” He questions like he doesn’t get it, get you. 

“Because,” You start trying to find the words, “I- I don’t want to rely on you.” You dart your eyes away and bite your lip wishing you’d never said anything so gross. 

Negans brows crease, “What? The fuck you think I’m gonna do? Wh- Oh shit.” He realises, his face eases when everything clicks into place for him. Negan pushes his hair back as he begins to pace a little as his mini-rant takes place “Fuckers, the bunch of fuckers making you feel like that. You know what, fuck those Hilltop ass hats, fuck your parents, fuck anyone who has ever let you down. You are not just some fucking thing you forget about! FUCK THEM! Look at you, fucking - Look. At. You. You don’t just fucking forget- Fuck it, I’m going back, I’ll shove Lucille up Ricks tiny little dick hole-” Negan bellows out words you wanted to say yourself but never could apart from a few different word choices. His arms swing around loosely as he shouts stopping only when he sees a smile start to creep back up on your face at his funny words. “Just- just fucking stay, okay?” Negan grins wide enough for you to see his dimples, “Hm, Okay?” 

“Okay.” You say simply. 

Negan is a little taken back by your quick agreement, he points a finger at you accusingly, “You think I’m gonna fuck this up. Fucking Jesus, a little trust wouldn’t go amiss here, give me something!” 

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a second, “I have no trust left to give, Negan, its not personal.” You try to explain, but you’re tired of explaining or trying at all with giving people the benefit of the doubt. 

“Not fucking personal, I beg to fucking differ, doll.” He retorts, his pacing continues as he throws his arms around. 

“What do you want me to say?” You ask, throwing your arms up. 

“Hmm, you’re fucking good. I fucking love that.” He stops pacing to look directly at you, “Using my own damn words against me like that. Guess we’re just gonna have to see what happens then aren’t we, doll?” He tilts his head slightly. 

“Guess so.” You reply with a smile. “I’m assuming I get to pick my room?” You ask ending the conversation to which Negan only replied with a nod. You walk towards the door stopping when Negan holds his arm out as you reach his side. 

Negan turns his head slightly, “You’re not gonna let me kiss you again any time soon are you?”

“Nope.” You smile. 

Negans face scrunches up dramatically as he dips at the knees, “Damn.” He whispers. 

Not everyone is the same, you try to remind yourself, maybe this will be different. You think that every time though, but this was different right? He won’t let you down, he won’t leave you, he won’t forget you. You have a home here, right? 

“You taking off?” You hear Simons' voice capturing your attention as you pass by a doorway while wondering the building. He sits in a room, a room that people once congregated to eat and socialise with each other, but that room only held the two of you now. 

“I’ve decided I’m going to stick around for a while actually.” You informed him. Simon smiles, a smile like he knew you’d already made this decision before you walked into the room. “What?” You question his knowing look.

“Shit, he convinced you to stay didn’t he?” Simon asks a question he already knew the answer to, and you didn’t have to ask to which 'he' Simon was referring to, there was only one other he. You give a small smile and a roll of your eyes as you take a seat opposite to him. “He’s got a soft spot for you, lady.” He claims, making your brows furrow as you pull your face back. He does not have a soft spot for anyone, he’s Negan. “I’m telling ya’, he’s liked you since the first day he saw you.” Simon finishes. 

“Oh really? And how do you know that? You weren’t even there.” You shake your head and the idea that Negan might not just be using you for his own personal gain. 

“Yes, I was,” Simon argues. 

“No..” You hesitate thinking back, “No, you weren’t I remember.” 

Simons face softened when he realises you don’t know, “You think the first time he saw you was when Rick the prick shot him?” Simon laughed, “No. It was about, what? A week before that day.” Simon starts watching your brows pinch together before continuing, “Negan and I were scouting you guys, we knew there was a plan of attack Ricks merry men of fuckers were cooking up. You were by yourself, Negan knew you were one of them. I mean fuck, you had the armband to prove it, and I had the gun aimed at your head. Negan stopped me from killing you.” He finishes, his words being said like he was actually surprised you didn’t know this. 

“Why… Why would he do that?” You puzzled over this new information. 

The corners of Simons' mouth pulled down bringing his moustache with it as he lifted his shoulders, “No fucking clue. I just remember you were sat crossed legged on the roof of a school bus, letting the dead attempt to reach you. Not a care in the fucking world, walkie in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. You were singing, you were singing some fucking song. Bob Marley, I think? I don’t fucking know.” He finishes, shrugging his shoulders once again. 

“Three little birds, yeah I remember that day. That was a good day.” Your face lightens up as you smile to yourself with that memory. As thoughts start to swim through your head your smile soon begins to fade, “He tripped you, didn’t he? Negan, he stopped you from winning the bet?” You questioned Simon who only gave you a smirk in response. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna leave you to your own sexual dilemmas,” Simon says grinning, while he lifts himself up and gets out of his chair. 

“Sexual!?” You question his word choice with a raised brow, turning to watch him leave the room.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”


	11. You’re worried about me?

“Rise and shine, shit dick.” Simons' voice bellowed through your room waking you from your sleep. Your eyes ping open at the sound, and you instantly let out a groan of annoyance, turning your body away from the man that stood in your doorway. You dug yourself deeper into your bed, pulling the sheets over your head but Simon quickly paces to the foot of your bed, ripping the sheets back off you. 

You take the pillow from beneath your head and throw it at him, “Fuck off, its Sunday.” You argued like we haven’t done enough shit these last few days. Don’t we deserve a day off, a day to do nothing?

“And we’ve got shit to do.” He clipped. 

You pull your weight up, leaning now against the headboard, “You know what I love, the sound you make when you stop talking.” You growled, your hands glide over your features, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes. 

Simon laughs, “Ya know I’ve realised you use sarcasm to distance people. It's really not healthy.” He begins to wonder your room, inspecting the items that lay on your dresser.

Your eyes follow him as he takes each one of your items in his hands before placing them back to there original position, ”And yet you’re still here.” You bite with a wicked smile.

“Well…” Simon starts walking back towards the door, “Negan’s given you twenty minutes to get ready and meet him in the hall before he gives his speech. If you don’t show up, he’s gonna be pissed so you can deal with that.”

You instantly begin to frown, “What bloody speech? There's only the two of us here.” You puzzled. 

Simon turns to face you again, now leaning on the door frame, “Actually there's 36 now, including you and me.” He informs you, gesturing to the both of you with a smug smile. 

“Eh? 34 saviours came back? How the fuck did Negan manage that overnight?” You questioned, your brain is racking on how this all happened while you were sleeping and why no one woke you. 

Simon’s eyes flick to the clock on your bedside table and then to you, “More like over day. It's 3pm. You’ve been asleep for fucking…. ever, you lazy shit. Me and the Neegs swung by the outposts, we found some of our people. We were gonna wake you, well I suggest it because you know. But Negan was all like nah leave her to sleep; I’m so in love with her.” He mocked, using a distinctively higher pitch tone and dramatic facial expressions.

You roll your eyes, “First of all I’m not a lazy shit. Although I have no excuse for sleeping in, so. Oh and second of all Negan did not say that.”

“No you’re right he didn’t. Anyway get the fuck up!” Simon snaps quickly back as he starts to leave, annoyingly leaving without closing the door behind him. 

“Could of shut the door you dickbag!” You shout after him, swinging your legs out of bed. 

Twenty minutes to get ready, you can do this. It's not as if you have the choice to wear makeup anymore. You quickly brush your teeth and jump in the shower, trying your best to keep your hair dry and just scrub off the night's dirt. As soon as you jump out you dig into your bag pulling out all the clean clothes. You automatically go for the jean’s and vest look, but the yellow sundress you never wear catches your eye. You eye it over for a moment but decide it was better saved for another day. You pull your skinny biker look jeans up and your low cut vest over your head, finishing off the look with a rosary necklace that laid nicely on your chest. As your standing in the mirror thinking about what to do with your hair, your heart almost drops when you notice the clock is now telling you that twenty minutes have passed since Simon left your room. You quickly brush through the tangles of hair, throwing the hairbrush on your bed as you swing open the door and start to run down the hallway. 

As you make it to the room, you can see bodies of the newly returned saviours huddled in the centre and up on the balcony standing above everyone else was Negan with Simon closely behind. He hasn’t noticed you yet though, so you push your way through the crowd to get to the front. You dart up the steps towards Negan who sees you and immediately opens his arms wide. 

“Well looky here so nice of you to fucking join us,” Negan complains earning a roll of your eyes. 

“Well I was going to apologise, but if you're being a dick, I won’t.” You snap back turning your heels to head back down to the rest of the saviours. Negan stops you, grabbing your arm and gently pulling you back. 

“You stay up here.” He states making your brows crease, but you don’t argue. He lets go of your arm but stays close to you for a moment and looks you up and down before a big grin forms over his face and you can see those dimples, “You look nice.” He says simply. 

“The fuck does that mean?” You question, with a small laugh. 

Negan shakes his head, keeping his grin, “It means you look fucking nice, take a compliment.” He leaves your side and moves to the front of the balcony that overlooks the room. Tapping Lucille on the bars to alert everyone he’s ready to talk. The place that was filled with whispers and mutters soon comes to silence as they all look up to hear what Negan has to say.   
“Listen up fuckers, daddy is home, and damn does it feel so fucking good to be home!” Negan bellows out the words with such confidence as a true leader does. “We’re here to rebuild, the sanctuary, the saviours. Fuck WE ARE the big swinging dicks of this world, have been for a long time. But it seems we have gotten a little off track.” He continues as he paces back and forth swinging Lucille idly, “So now our big swinging dick is going to swing harder and faster until we take off like a motherfucking helicopter and blow all these motherfuckers away!”

“Absolutely ridiculous!” You hear someone mutter from the crowd. Your eyes like everyone else eyes pings instantly over to the man who uttered those words. People who stood next to him have backed away a few paces leaving him alone in the circle on people. Your eyes flick back over to Negan who is in the middle of a staring contest with this man. 

Negans eyes are stone, and you can see his jaw tighten before he speaks, “I’m sorry, who THE FUCK are you?” He shouts with gritted teeth. 

“Someone who’s not gonna stand for this bullshit. Are we really gonna listen to him after all that's happened?” The guy swings his head around looking for someone else to back his corner, but no one moves. Smart people.

Negan lets out a haunting laugh, “Good Lord above, been here two minutes and already trying to start a rebellion. You’ve got a set on you, I’ll give you that. You think you can do a better job? Be my fucking guest.” Negan holds an arm out for the man to approach him and take centre stage although I really hope he doesn’t because I don’t think at this point Negan would be able to control his temper. 

The man at least has some sense as he doesn’t bite Negan’s bait, “You and I both know I can’t do shit while you’re still standing there.” He quips back. 

“Then don’t be a chicken shit, get up here and kill me.” Negan grins, gesturing again for him to approach the lion's den. 

“Why don’t you come down here? No weapons, no Lucille, fight like men. Then we’ll see who should be leading the saviours here.” The man offers, throwing his arms out and paces back. 

Negan dips at the knees, “I am willing to bet my nut sack that there are plenty of women here who could take you, let's not be sexist now.” The sarcasm drips off his tongue like venom, and there's a moment of silence before Negan makes up his mind, “Shit, well okay! I mean who the fuck is gonna pass something like that up?” He grins. 

Your eyes widen when you realise this is actually going to happen. The crowd of people have moved far away creating a circle so everyone could see the fight. Negan walks over to you, holding out Lucille for you to take, “Would you?” He asks, so you take Lucille without a word and watch as he shimmies himself out of his leather jacket too. 

“Negan, don’t.” You plead with him, your worried eyes begging him not to be so stupid. 

Negan’s eyes connect with yours, he grins as he swings his leather jacket around your arms, resting the coat on your shoulders. “Don’t worry, doll.” He tries to reassure you, giving you a wink as he moves past you and heads down to the crowd. 

You push your hands through the arms of the leather jacket to make sure it didn’t slip off as Simon approaches you from behind, “Bet you this prick doesn’t survive the night.” Simon whispers so only you can hear him. 

“They’re not fighting to the death, Jesus, Simon, lighten up.” You frown as you watch Negan begin to walk down the stairs. 

“The rest of your smokes,” Simon added quickly, trying to make this bet happen. 

“The rest of your whisky.” You replied quickly. Simon agreed to the terms only by holding his hand out, you quickly and discreetly shake his hand making the bet official. 

You take off after Negan, following him down the stairs and to the crowd of people. You push your way to the front line of the group so you can see everything that was happening. Negan and his opponent stood a few feet apart, seemingly getting ready for what was about to go down. As Negan had his head turned the other guy throws a cheap shot, landing the first punch across Negan’s face. Your face scrunches up at the sight, Negan’s head swings to the side. 

Negan touches his lip seeing the blood on his fingertips, he lets out a low laugh, “Didn’t know we were fighting dirty,” He seethes, throwing his fist back at the man. 

You could do nothing but stand on the sidelines and watch as both men went at it, it was nothing but brutal. Both men had got good shots in, and their knuckles had turned red with the blood of the other. At first, it could have been anyone's game, but Negan’s last hit made his opponent wobble. As soon as Negan saw this weakness, he hit harder and faster, repeatedly until the poor soul was crippled on the floor spitting out his own blood. Negan hovers over the man for a moment, and honestly, you thought he was going to finish him off, but to your surprise, he doesn’t. 

“Get him cleaned up!” Negan ordered with a wave of his hand and just like that two other saviours wrapped their arms around the fallen man and pulled him to his feet. Your eyes follow the fallen saviour as you see his eyes dart to a gun hanging in the holster of the man that was helping him.

His hand reaches and pulls the gun from the holster. Your adrenaline spikes and your grip around Lucille becomes tight. He lifts the pistol and aims it at Negan’s head, but as he does this, your instincts kick in. You without thought swing Lucille up like you were playing baseball, the barbed wire bat hits the man right in the chin making him stumble backwards. Your head is blank, you can only see red. You swing again this time across the side of his face, seeing the flesh of his features being torn as you do. As the man drops to his knees, you give one final blow bringing Lucille down on the man's head, ending it. Ending him. 

The air is silent, the only noise is your own rapid breathing. You wipe the splatters of blood from your face with your forearm. You’re still looking at the man’s head that you’ve just caved in, you don’t know what to do, what to say. 

Your eyes flick up and see everyone looking at you, “Holy fucking shit! Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I was sure as shit not expecting that. Fuck, look at that. That looked fucking painful, shit.” Negan shouts drawing the attention back to him which you were thankful for. 

Negan moves in front of you, sliding his hand down your arm until he reaches Lucille. You don’t let go, your grip is still so tight around the handle. His other hand finds its way to your face, you feel the palm of his hand move you, so you were now looking at him and not the dead body. When you realise what you’re doing you quickly crane your hand away from Lucille and back up a few paces. You find yourself next to Simon again, pulling out the packet of cigarettes from your back pocket you hold them out for Simon to take. You lost the bet, he didn’t survive the night. Simon takes them from you with a half smile, tucking them away in his own pocket without a word. 

“Now that is what I call a fucking saviour! So, who the fuck are you?” Negan bellows, turning back to the saviours. Everyone responds in unison Negan’s name as they all begin to lower themselves and get on one knee. 

Your brows furrow at the sight before you, they were actually bowing down. “What the fuck is happening?” You mutter under your breath. 

“Don’t worry about it, doll.” Negan responds, catching your comment, “The only time I want to see you on your knees is when I’m unbuttoning my pants and sticking my big-“

“Jesus Christ, Negan. You need, you need Jesus!” You laugh.

“I need Jesus?” He asks rhetorically, holding a hand to his chest, “I’m not the one who just smashed in someone's head like a fucking pinata!” He grins giving a laugh at the end. 

“I saved your bloody life!” You snap back quickly but still holding the light atmosphere. 

“And I will cherish this moment forever.” He responds sarcastically, looking at you longingly before his face snaps back to leader Negan as he turns back to his saviours, “NOW, GET BACK TO IT, FUCKERS!” He yells making everyone scurry off in different directions. 

You didn’t see why that didn’t include you, so you started to move as well towards the exit. You should have seen it coming, but Negan hooks his arm with yours and playfully swings you back around to him.   
“I've gotta say, seeing you in my leather, swinging Lucille around, really gets me going,” His eyes turn a darker shade as he tugs on the leather pulling you a little closer to him. You roll your eyes at his shit-eating grin, “You good?” He asks, a little more serious now.

“Peachy.” You smile. 

Negan narrows his eyes like he could read that you were lying, “Feel how you feel. You have nothing to forgive yourself for.” 

“I said I was peachy.” You insist that you’re fine.

“And I can tell when you’re lying, doll.” He starts, pulling again harshly at the leather bringing you dangerously close to him. He brings his hand up to your face, tucking your hair behind your ear before running his thumb over your mouth. “You do this little thing, this little thing with your mouth. It's your tell. So I can tell when you’re lying to me.” His eyes becoming ever so distracted by your lips. 

“I don’t feel like shit because I killed someone.” You inform him, your eyes look up to his through your lashes. 

“No? Then please explain, I’m not a fucking mind reader.” He jokes, letting you see his pearly whites as he continually finds himself funny. 

“You infuriate me sometimes I swear to god.” You snap back at his sarcastic remark. You tug away from Negan trying to take a step back but as soon as you do he pulls you straight back to him. Swiftly now snaking his free arm around your waist to keep you in place. You had no choice put to place your hands lightly on his chest as if you were dancing. Negan looks incredibly proud of himself for having you in this situation. 

“Let's play a game. Like two truths and a lie, expect there are no lies. I get to ask you one question, and you have to answer honestly and doll, I must remind you I know when you lie. And once I’ve asked my question you get to ask me one. And so on until we get bored or horny.” He explains, raising his brow at the end and flashing a grin. 

You can’t help but smile back at his childish behaviour, “Fine, I’m game.”

“Right well then, let's start off the fucking show. Hmm okay, If you’re not pissed about killing that dick then why are you all twitchy?” He questions raising an eyebrow. It doesn’t go unnoticed when his hand that's around your waist slips under the bottom of your vest making you shiver when his bare cold hands touch your skin. 

“Because-“ You start, trying to stay focused on your words and not his touch the small of you back, “Because you-you keep putting yourself in front of peoples guns!” You manage to get out.

Negan grins from ear to ear, “You’re worried about me?”

“I’m worried that I’m letting you be my friend, and you're just going to get yourself killed.” You retort back sarcastically. 

Negan pauses for a moment, and you can see the cogs turning in his mind, breaking eye contact as he moves his face closer to yours. You could have sworn blind he was going in for a kiss and damn well you’d of let him. But just as he gets close enough his face dips to the side of yours bringing his lips to your ear. “If every son of a bitch in here decided to revolt against me, would you slaughter everyone under this roof to keep me alive?” He whispers in your ear. 

The hairs on the back of your neck are on end as you feel his breath down your throat, “Yes.” You whisper back. Negan lets out a small low and quiet laugh, it was seductive and pulling you in. The man was basically purring as the grip on your waist tightens slightly making you jump. Negan pulls his face back holding his grin wide he goes to open his mouth again, but you cut him off this time.   
“You’ve asked two, so I get two.” You remind him of the game he started, his face indicates that he’s happy for you to ask your questions. You bring your hands to his damaged face, your fingers gently brush over the cuts and bruises caused by the fight, “Does this hurt?” You ask, and in return, you get a simple shake of the head. “Why are you so adamant about keeping me around you?” You ask your next question, the more important one. 

Negan’s jaw tightened like you’d hit a nerve until his smile creeps back in place, “You’re like this weird fucking light for me, doesn’t make a lick of sense but I’m a giant fucking moth. Damn well can’t help it.” He smiles. 

“My turn, if I kiss you, will you pull away?” He narrows his eyes playfully. You shake your head slowly just like he did. Negan smirks at your response beginning to dip his head to your level making your hands automatically glide around his shoulders and to his neck as he does. His lips are almost touching yours, but he pauses inches away, “Thought you said you weren’t going to let me kiss you any time soon.” He purrs, his voice is husky and low and delicious you could never say no to that. 

"You didn’t know I was lying?” You tease, tilting your head back as Negan tries to kiss you. A hungry laugh leaves his lips at your playful games, but he soon matches your move. Dropping Lucille, he uses his now free hand to slide around the back of your neck pulling you into his lips. 

Your eyes instantly close as his mouth starts to move against yours. The harsh hairs on his beard scratch at your face but you love it, this was intoxicating. Your heartbeat is at an all-time high, and you're sure he knows it when your grip on his shoulders becomes tighter. Your hands slide over his shoulders and to the back of his neck so your fingers can glide through the ends of his hair. You realise Negan was fond of this as you feel him smile against your lips when you do, “Marry me?” He breathes out the question between kisses. 

It took you a minute to realise what he just said, but once you did your eyes ping open wide, you break the kiss abruptly jerking your head back from him “What?”


	12. You down for the ride?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY this took so long to upload! I've been going through some stuff. I'm okay though. Powering on and all that!! Thanks for your patience!! Hope you guys enjoy! :)

You stood a foot away from Negan looking at him in with pure shock. The man who just asked you to marry him takes a step forward making you instantly back away.   
“Did you just ask me to marry you?” You question, holding your hand out to stop his advances. 

Negan sighs like your behaviour were unnecessary like you were overreacting, “Yes, yes I fucking did. I don’t see what the problem is here?” He replies, holding his hands out for you to explain why you’re making such a big deal. 

You didn’t get it at first, how was this just something he could ask like it was nothing. Like it was normal after knowing someone for a couple of weeks. Your brows that are tightly pinched together from trying to figure out what the fuck was going on before they suddenly ease out when you realise. Matter of fact, when you remember. When you remember who you’re talking to, who Negan is. 

“I-Oh shit, I forgot that was your thing.” You laugh, bringing a hand to your head and tapping your fingers on your temple like this was something that just slipped from your mind. 

Negan coils his head back at the words and frowns, “My thing? Excuse the fuck out of me, what?” He asks, demanding an explanation for your words. 

“Yeah, you’ve got all these wives, that's your thing.” You remind him casually, trying to stay carefree. “You see a pair of breasts, and you put a ring on it. How many wives do you have now? Ya know what don’t answer that, I don’t care. I’m not- no. Just- This is over in every way.” You finish, continually moving further away as you take steps back as you talk. Your face has scrunched up again as thoughts start to rush your head and the feeling of being used suddenly washes over your body. How could you be so stupid to think that you were something special?

“If you’d get your panties out of a twist you would-“ Negan’s voice starts to rise into a shout before you cut him off. 

“Would what?” You interject sharply, “See that there are seven more of me waiting in a room for you?” You continue. The anger seems to be seeping from you and out in words. “Am I just a joke to you?” You ask in a breath. The question came out in a whisper, only just audible. You weren’t looking for an answer, and you didn’t stay for one either. Storming down the hallways headed back to your room you pass by Simon on your warpath glaring him down when you see he’s about to open his mouth. His lips instantly snip back together as his wondering eyes watch you swiftly pass him. You slam the door behind you when you reach your room, flopping yourself down on your bed. 

You took deep breaths, but it was only a couple of minutes after you closed your eyes that you heard knocking on your door. A deep sigh escaped your lips as you dragged yourself back off the bed, “Negan, I’m really not in the mood-” You start, swinging the door open to see a tall redhead woman standing in front of you looking a little startled by your anger, “Oh hi.” You try to ease out the frown on your face. 

“Hey, sorry. Were you expecting Negan? I can go-” She says quickly. Her locks of fire danced around her face as she looked down the hallway for Negan and back to you. 

“No, no, sorry. Please come in,” You reassure her, moving to one side and letting her in. “Negan’s just been pissing me off, so I thought- I don’t know what I thought honestly.” You shrug your shoulders and shake the thought or hope that Negan might have followed you back. 

She laughs as she passes by you and enters the room, “I know how that feels. I’m Frankie by the way.” She smiles up to you as she perches herself on the end of your bed. Her tight black dress forcing her to have to cross her legs at the knees to sit comfortably. You knew straight away that she was one of Negan's wives, nothing like adding salt to the wound. Frankie was stunning, to say the least, you couldn't blame Negan for wanting her. Even though she'd probably had it rough the last few weeks without Negan in charge her hair was still silky smooth, framing her face just right. Her piercing blue eyes pulled you in, and you had to consciously dart your gaze away to not look insane. 

“Y/n.” You return the smile, closing the door behind her.

“I know," Frankie nods to herself, "I wanted to come and thank you,” 

You tilt your head slightly, “Thank me? For what?” You ask. 

Frankie waits for you to slump your body into the leather chair opposite her, “So I was one of Negan’s wives.” She explains, “Before the meeting and everything that happened- are you okay by the way? I never asked, with everything that happened back there.” Her eyes become slightly distracted by the specs of blood still on your face. 

You suddenly become self-conscious, trying to wipe away what blood you can without a mirror. Your bare hands move around your face doing the best you could to make you look presentable, “Yeah, no, I’m good. You were saying.” You try to direct the conversation back to her. 

“Right!” She shakes her head to focus, “So before that little speech and whatnot, Negan gathered all his wives up and basically... Well, he divorced us. So there's that.” She continues before seeing you raise an eyebrow, “But don’t feel like 'aw no, poor thing', because we are all delighted with that.” She quickly adds in with a smile.

“Wait before-" You stop yourself to gather your thoughts, "You said he announced this before he did his speech?” You question, leaning forward from your chair as if that would help clear things up. 

"Yeah, he spoke to us just before, just before you walked in actually." Frankie continues, her tone implying she thought you already knew this was going to happen. 

You blink a few times to take in the information before the question pops back into your head of why she was thanking you for that, "I don’t see what I had to do with that?" You say, narrowing your eyes. 

Frankie begins to look as confused as you are, "Well you told him to do that, didn’t you?" She asks, uncrossing her legs to lean forward like you. "Amber asked him why the sudden change and he just said you had shown him he was doing some things in a way he shouldn’t be. Why do you look so confused?" Her brows are knitted together as she scans your thoughtful face. 

"I just- I just didn’t think he took any of that on board." You lied, you had never said anything like that to Negan.

"Well, he listens to you." She adds, her frown disappears from her face and turns into a warm smile. "So whatever you’re doing, keep at it. You know I don’t think he’s such a bad guy deep down, he just has a hard time showing that. He’s all flare, ya know." She chuckles to herself. 

You laugh with her, "Oh, I know!" You add with wide sarcastic eyes. 

"Well," She says, patting the bed with both hands before pushing herself up off the bed, "Me and the girls are still staying in the main room we had before, so feel free to drop by any time you like." She looks down to you before making her way to the exit. 

You stand quickly and follow her to the door to see her out, "Yeah, I will. Thank you." 

Frankie smiles one last time before tilting her head back down and leaving your doorway. 

Your back leans against the door you'd closed after Frankie had left. Your hands sweep over your face and into your hair as thoughts start to swim your mind. How can one man make you feel so crazy, so insane? How can one man make you feel so many things? 

"He will be the death of me." You whisper to yourself before swinging the door open again. Your body moves down the hallways towards Negan's room, you looked like a mad woman on a mission. Only fifteen minutes ago were you storming down to your room and now you were passing by all the same people again. 

Simon still stands in the same place he had been before when you'd walked past him. His eyes flicker up to the sound of your boots hitting the ground as you get closer to him. You can tell he is wondering what the hell you are doing, but the scowl you gave him earlier stops him from asking. His back is against a wall as puffs of smoke filled the air around him, one of your cigarettes he'd won between his teeth. He doesn't say anything, he just reaches into his pocket bringing out the packet of smokes. Pushing the lit end of his own cigarette into another and holding it out in front of him with his finger and thumb. As you pass by him, you swipe it out of his hand without a word and continue to move forward. 

"Dick," You mutter, walking by.

"Bitch." Simon returns the jab.   
Your head turns back and you smile at the man who is already grinning at your direction. 

By the time you'd finished smoking you'd reached the last corner before Negan's room. You stub the smoke out with your boot as you go to approach the lion's den, stopping suddenly when you see his door is already open. You slam your back against the wall and out of sight, hearing muffled voices from the room. Your eyes peek around the corner being cautious to not be caught eavesdropping. A woman stands at the doorway, a woman you hadn't noticed before. Pretty though, maybe one of Negan's wives you thought. Her hands gripped around the bottom of her shirt as she pulls it over her head and walks out of view into his room. 

You blink a few times, not really knowing how to feel. Well, that's that then. 

You’d found the quietest most peaceful part of the sanctuary at the edge of the fences that keep the place protected from the dead. You sat cross-legged quite comfortably on the grass using your hands to hold your weight as you lean back. The sun was setting leaving an orange hue over your features, the sky looked like a painting full of every colour. Closing your eyes, you take in the moment, the light breeze that gently hits your face and the sounds of birds chirping around you. This. This moment was perfect in every way. 

Being so lost in this space you didn’t even notice that you had a guest until you heard him sit next to you. You knew exactly who it was by the sound of his leather moving around as he got himself comfortable, so you didn’t feel the need to open your eyes just yet. 

“For your information, doll, there is no one like you.” Negan fills the silence, his voice is warm and soothing, but you remain quiet. “No one quite has the ability to rile me the fuck up the way you do and continue to breathe.” He continues, making a small smirk appear on your lips. Negan waits a moment for your reply, but when he gets nothing, you feel him playfully bump his shoulder with yours. “Are you dead? Fucking talk to me, doll, I’m trying here.” He says, clearly becoming impatient. 

“What do you want me to say?” You ask calmly as your eyes gently open again. You tilt your head slightly towards Negan and see a grin start to form when your eyes land on him. He was sat crossed legged too and leaning back copying your stance with Lucille laying in front of him. 

“An apology would be fucking beautiful right now, not gonna lie.” He says.

"I did come to apologise actually, but you were a tad busy.” You snap back quickly your eyes dart to Negan who’s brows are furrowed, and his face looks confused. You roll your eyes, “Sally.” You remind him. Yes, you'd had to find out the name of the mystery woman. 

Negan laughs as he thinks back, “Sally? Fucking shit now that lady has got a major hard-on for me.” He starts grinning all the way through, “She’s lonely and desperate.” He shrugs his shoulders. 

“Clearly she slept with you.” You retort back sarcastically. 

Negan pulls his face back in disgust, “You think I fucked with her?” He questions. 

“You didn’t?” You ask, raising an accusing brow. Negan only throws his head back and laughs loudly before shaking his head. You suddenly feel this wash of relief go through your body, and you realise that there may have been some jealousy floating around in your soul at the thought. You turn your face away from Negan as you frown, cursing in your own mind to get your shit together. Jealously is a feeling, a feeling you didn’t want to have any part in. If you feel jealousy, then you feel something. Something for him. Something more. 

Negan was hot as shit, but the thing you had with him was only physical, a sarcastic banter type of relationship. It can never be anything… more. Negan can’t do that, he was not that kind of guy right?

“So is this apology going to happen now or do you need a little more time to fucking sulk about it?” Negan questions, bringing you out of thought. 

You return your eyes to him, “Don’t be a dick first of all or you won’t get shit.” You warned making him flash his teeth, “I panicked a little, okay.” You shrug your shoulders trying to justify your outburst. 

“A little? I’m surprised you didn’t take my fucking head off.” He responds dramatically with a shocked face. 

You roll your eyes, “Okay, dramatic.” 

The sky was getting darker by the minute, you really did love this time of the day. You bend your elbows bringing yourself down into the grass. You lay your head down now so you can watch the remaining light in the sky fall away. Negan watches curiously, “What the shit are you doing?” He looks down at you. 

“I’m trying to find the first star.” You reply like that was something everyone did as you continue to scan the sky. 

Negans looks up at the sky too for a second before returning his gaze to your face, “I may have jumped the gun when I asked you to marry me.” He admits. 

“Really?” You say with wide eyes over exaggerating your word with a smirk.

“What I was trying to get fucking out was I want you to be my right hand fucking badass woman, work alongside Simon. Help me out with running this shit. Be my fucking conscious or council or some shit.” Negan explains making you instantly frown at the offer. You were honestly shocked at the words he was speaking and thought he could be joking, but when you dart your eyes over to him, you can see on his face he isn’t. This to you was Negan’s way of saying he needed you around, that he if anything trusted you. Trusted what you had to say, your opinions and would actually take advice from you. 

“I like you Negan, but if you ever lie to me. I’ll pull your guts out by your throat.” You warn, your own way of accepting the offer. 

Negan grins wide and lets out a small low laugh, “You make me all tingly when you talk like that, feisty, I fucking love it.” He grins. 

“I’m not fucking joking.” You say looking at Negan who was already looking down at you. You tried to stay serious, but you couldn’t help but let the corners of your mouth start to turn up. You bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling. 

His eyes dart down from your eyes to your bottom lip between your teeth, “Fuck me, I know you're not playing around. So is that a yes? Or is that a fucking yes?" He asks, although he already knew the answer to the question, so you didn't feel like you needed to say it. 

The smile escapes your hold and forms on your face as your gaze returns to the sky, "How is this going to end?" You ask quietly, a thought floating around your head that had managed to escape. 

Negan pushes a breath of air out, "Bloodshed and tears most likely." He replies, at least he's honest. 

You nod to yourself, "Just as I thought."

"You down for the ride?" Negan grins, his gaze never leaving your face. 

"Always."


	13. Fifteen 'no's', really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I haven't given up on this! I've just been really busy as of late so sorry for the delays!! :)

It was apparent to anyone who was getting to know you, you were not a morning person. It was already midday and you'd only just rolled out of bed and into the shower. You can hear Bowie playing from the record player, the sounds of his voice soothing your mind and soul. It's only while you're taking a shower that you start to think about things, think about everything in fact. You had to face facts here, you felt jealousy. That was a feeling you felt when it came to him, it was there, and you can't pretend it wasn't. However, what you can do is address it and move on. The last thing you need is to do something stupid like fall in love. 

You let the hair you'd kept out of the waters reach fall out of the bun and around your shoulders. Wrapping a towel around your body as you stepped out of the shower, you continued to hum along with the music hitting your ears. Absent-minded you open the door and head straight for clean clothes, your hands digging into the fabrics to find the red lace you were wanting to wear today. 

"Well, isn't this a sight." You hear Negan's hoarse voice from behind you. Your body instantly spins to his direction and slams back against the chest of draws in shock. You let out a string of curse words as the sharp wood corner hits the middle of your back. "Careful darling, don't want you hurting that if I must say so myself, DAMN fine body of yours." He grins like a Cheshire cat, from ear to ear. His eyes roam the skin on show, and he is not the kind of man who even tries to hide it. 

"Negan! Towel! Knock!" You almost yell, gripping onto your towel tightly to not let anything slip. The material itself was already pretty small, but with his eyes on you, it felt like you were actually naked. 

"Y/n! No one cares! No!" He replies in the same tone. He sits on your bed, his back resting against the wall. With his leather gloved hand, he hooks the red pair of panties you'd been searching for with his finger and holds them up into view. "Looking for these?" His eyes drift from the panties back to you, his grin never leaving his face. 

You storm over to him, snatching the fabric out of his hand, "What are you even doing here?" You snap a little harsher than necessary, trying to change the subject. 

"Waiting for your ass," He says casually before his mischevious grin slowly starts to creep back on his face, "It took damn well everything in my fucking bones not to get in that shower with you." He smirks a little, his eye contact with you is blinding considering you could see the lust building within him as his pupils widen turning his eyes darker. 

You swallow down the nerves he'd suddenly sparked in you, avert your eyes and try to change the subject once again. "I have nothing scheduled for this morning." You state, turning back to your draws you begin to dig through the clothes to make yourself look busy, but your mind was making it hard to concentrate. 

"You do now, doll. You're on the welcome wagon." Negan beams a little over-enthusiastically, hearing the creaking of wood as he pushes himself off your bed. 

You instantly frown, "Welcome, what now?" You ask over your shoulder.

"We have brand new squicky not so fucking clean potential saviours coming to our doorstep." He starts, the sound of his footsteps creeping up behind you. The hairs on your neck stand on end and your body freezes, you just know he is only inches behind you. "I need you by my side, but we..." you feel his fingertips glide over your skin as he pushes your hair over to one side to expose your shoulders, "Well, we have all the god damn time in the world." His voice is low and husky and just so damn inviting.

It was so hard not to get lost in him, he knew exactly what to do, what to say. It took you a couple of minutes to bring yourself out of the haze he'd put you in, but once you realised what was happening, you spun around and pushed yourself as far into the cabinet and away from him as you could, "No. na.na.na.na.na...no. No. no.no... nope. no.no.no...no!" You say quickly, holding your index out in front of you like you were lecturing a child. 

Negan backs away with a laugh like he already knew you were going to do that, "Fifteen 'no's', really?"

"I have made a decision, this..." You point from yourself to him, "This needs to stop before it goes too far." You nod to yourself as if you needed convincing as well. 

Negan cocks a brow up, "That's a stupid fucking decision." He argued, folding his arms into each other. 

"You promoted me, and we shouldn't mix business with pleasure. It's just gonna end up in flames, and you know it." You countered with a tilt of your head. 

Negan throws his head back with laughter, "This business IS pleasure, doll!" He exclaims. 

You narrow your eyes, "Not everyone enjoys bashing people's heads in." You say with a sarcastic smile. 

Negan mimics your smile and lets out a humming noise, "You think you're not like me, that's so fucking cute." Negan voice changes like he's talking to a child, his hands are in front of your face pretending to scrunch up your cheeks. Your head instantly coils away as you bat his hands away from you, giving him a clear indication he was starting to piss you off.   
Negan laughs at his own actions before starting to back himself towards the door, "Let me tell you something, doll, you think I don't see you. I fucking see you." He states, with a finger pointed at you accusingly. Still backing away until he reaches his goal and can open the door. 

"The fuck does that mean?" You ask scrunching up your face and folding your arms. 

Negan flashes you one more smile before turning his back on you, "You know." He says without giving you another look and walking away from you. 

"No, clearly I don't, or I wouldn't have said 'the fuck does that mean'?" You say a little louder the further he got away from you but Negan only ignore's your comment and keeps walking. "WHY THE FUCK DOES NO ONE SHUT DOORS AROUND HERE!?" You yell, slamming the door shut behind him. 

You take a moment to compose yourself, how did Negan know how to wind you up like this? Your fingers run over your face trying to ease out the emotions running through your mind. He made you so mad sometimes it wasn't even funny. It was only when you ping open your eyes again that you notice something still lying on your bed... Lucille.   
The little shit left her here, meaning you would have to bring her back to him. Be his good little worker in front of all the saviours, but fuck if you were being played like that. 

"What are you looking at?" You mutter to the barbed wired bat as you pass by her. 

Today was a lazy effort day for your looks. You slung on some baggy ripped jeans paired with a black vest and combat boots. Your bun had left a wave to your hair, so you didn't feel the need to brush it. Simon had caught up with you when you headed down to Negan's welcome party. All you were really there for is to show face, to introduce yourself, help people navigate the Sanctuary and answer any questions. Easy enough as long as no one tries to kill anyone else like last time. 

Simon had given you a cigarette, but as soon as you entered the room, the smoke was snatched from your mouth. You watched the bud hit the ground and be stomped out by a boot. When you look up you see Negan's face, his eyes weren't on you but instead on the people in the room, surveying his new saviours. 

"Those things will kill you." He says without taking his eyes off the crowd. 

You smile to yourself as you look over the room with him, "So will most things." 

You feeling the burning sensation of someone looking at you and when your eyes flick back over to Negan, you can see him gazing over you, looking for something, for Lucille. He was fully aware of where he'd left her making you smirk to yourself, "She's where you left her," You ease his mind as your eyes drift back to the people. 

Negan grins, "Is that an invitation to yours later, doll?" 

Your head snaps back to his direction, but he doesn't let you respond before quickly being pulled away by another saviour. You watch him leave with dagger eyes, the dick gave you a double ended sword leaving Lucille at your place. 

"Well hello, baby, where on earth did they find you?" An unknown voice pulls you from your thoughts. You see a man, older, clean shaven, dressed ridiculously smart for where he was. Every other newcomer looked like they'd been through hell and back. Not him, he looked like he'd never missed a meal. He was out of place, didn't fit in. The vibe you felt instantly was that there was something very off about him. "Nick," He introduces himself after your silence, taking a step forward to close the already small gap between you. Your body automatically tries to step back as he does but he grabs your arm tightly to stop you from moving. 

Your eyes narrow as you look down to his fingers wrapped around your arm, a smug unsettling smile planted on his lips, "I'm not your baby, and if you don't let go of me, I will rip your arm from its socket." You return the smile. 

"Wow, little spitfire we got here, so when are you gonna let me show you a good time?" He asks. You can tell he is trying to charming but it was defiantly not coming across like that. 

You let out a laugh and yank your arm free from his grasp, "That's not happening." You state coldly, looking around the room for someone to be your social exit.

"I never take no for an answer.” He replies, his unnerving smile still on his face.

Your eyes drift back to him, “How rapey of you.” You say sarcastically with a tilt of your head. His smirk turns into a full grin but before he had time to respond someone had called his name. Nick held his arms out as he backed away as if to say 'duty calls'. You watched with squinted eyes as the strange man walks away. 

You feel someone approach behind you and you didn't need to look to know it was Negan. "I don't like him." You say, still staring at Nick as he is escorted out the room with other saviours. 

"Keep your eyes on that one. He creeps me the fuck out." You hear Negan's voice, you can tell he's looking at Nick too trying to figure out if this guy is bad news. Negan waits for you to nod your head in response before you hear him leave you. 

You headed off in your own direction too. It was late when you decided to head back to your room. The sky had turned dark and the only lights you could see were the ones peaking out from under saviours doors as you passed by them. You were a few doors away from the comforts of your own bed when you get a chill over your entire body and a feeling. A feeling like someone was watching you. You stop dead in your tracks and dart your head to see down the hallway you were walking from. Your eyes glance around trying to find someone waiting in the shadows. But as soon as you decide there was no threat and turn back you feel a sharp pain on your head and the lights go out in your mind instantly. It was just like when you crashed to the bottom of the cliff. One minute you were here and the next you were just gone.

Everything is just... black.


End file.
